


The Pirate's Mate

by Rising_Phoenix



Series: The Pirate's Mate [1]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Disabled Character, Cliffhangers, Flint is so done, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, John Silver is a Little Shit, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Matchmaking, Matelotage, Mutual Pining, Wedding Night, Wedding Planning, Weddings, mention of past rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-16 20:22:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21042215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rising_Phoenix/pseuds/Rising_Phoenix
Summary: Silver needs to get out of a proposal he can't agree on in good conscience, and gets himself (and Flint) tied up in a lie they can't escape - meaning they now have to marry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is canon divergence after season 3 with some changes to canon - Silver and Madi are not lovers. Billy is still part of the crew and is at Flint's side, having become something like his bodyguard, while Ben is Silver's best friend in the meantime. Vane is alive (yay for that!).

_"You may be concerned that someday we will clash. Worried, that though today we be friends, someday you’ll have no choice than to be my enemy. I would not worry too much.”_

The words Flint had said to him still lingered in the back of his mind, distracting him of the things going on around him, of more important things being said and decisions to be made.

Still, even though Flint had told him not to worry too much, he did just that. Worry.

Worry that the war they fought would be the end to their lives.

Worry that the war they fought would be the end to their friendship.

Worry that the war they fought would be the end to their world. To his world.

Silver could not help but worry. One day, long ago it seemed, he had worn the mask of a carefree thief who cheated and tricked his way to his own advantage and benefit, without risking too much, and especially not his heart.

But now – so much had changed in these past years, since the day he became part of the Walrus’ crew, part of Flint’s closest circle. He had become a calmer man, he would like to think. On the inside he knew, he still held the childish man, the sassy thief close to his heart, even if he now was his captain’s quartermaster and a leading figure in the war they were ensnared in.

He took a deep breath and stretched his left leg under the table, wincing at the sharp sting of pain that went through the limb, and looked up, hoping that nobody witnessed his weakness. But those around the table at which they met were deep in conversation, a conversation he had stopped to follow a while ago, his thought straying without an aim, and nobody paid attention to the man who held the strings of a puppeteer in his hands and had the talent to silvertongue his way out of every problem.

Except one.

Blue-green eyes were focused on him, the brows furrowed and the features harsh and lined with…was that worry?

Flint tilted his head a little to the side, pointed his chin with a small nod into the direction of what was below the table, and Silver knew this instant moment that his captain had sensed his pain and discomfort, while not stopping the discussion he was having with Madi, Rackham and Vane, not missing a beat to engage into the words exchanged with sharp wit and intelligence, and still he had reacted to that little sigh Silver had allowed to be let out. Silver could not help but narrow his brows himself, shaking his head a little to indicate it was nothing to worry about, to which Flint’s eyes grew even more cold and hard, as if he was upset and disagreeable with Silver’s self-torture. But never would Silver allow anyone to witness his pain, to witness that he was often close to tears and could hardly get through his days. Days followed by sleepless nights during which he never could find the comfort and rest he so desperately needed.

Flint sighed, and replied to something Rackham had said, words that had gone unnoticed by Silver himself: “And what do you suggest to ensure the alliance between our fractions?”

“Well, like I said,” Rackham continued what he was explaining, causing Vane to snort and sending an attempt of a threatening glare into Vane’s direction, who leaned back almost casually in his chair, one foot on the table, chewing on an unlit cigarillo. “Like I said, before I was so rudely interrupted, we should make a treaty, a contract of sorts,…”

“Really, Rackham? A treaty?” Silver intervened. “I can count alone four people at this table who would burn the pages with such a treaty written onto within seconds if they must, and that’s not counting me.”

“Oh, look who has woken up and gives us the honor of his input. Thanks, Mister Silver, but that was not helpful,” Rackham sassed, making Silver indeed smile a little. He had not met the pirate often, but every time they met their exchanges were like fodder to his brain.

“So, since a treaty is off the table,” Vane growled. “What do you suggest? I know I trust Flint, no matter what you all may think, and I trust Jack. I am not sure if I can trust you.”

He looked sternly into Madi’s direction who instantly made her back more straight to seem taller in her chair, her posture as powerful as her title as queen would suggest. Her eyes though were a little scared, but also cold and annoyed – a gift that Rackham and Vane had, annoying everyone in their way.

“How do I know I can trust you?” Madi gave back.

“You don’t.”

Silver closed his eyes, sighing. This was not going good. They needed to ensure the maroon’s support, if not their alliance, if they wanted to defeat that Rogers person and the Guthrie bitch for good one day. They needed Madi on their side, and Vane and Rackham were doing their cause no favor.

He and Flint looked at each other, a silent conversation like they often had, trying to find a solution out of this dilemma, but coming to no avail.

“I think we should…,” Flint started and Silver knew he wanted to suggest a break so he and Silver could converse about what they could offer and find common ground once again.

“I only trust one person on this room,” Madi said, her eyes shifting to look at Silver. “And that is John.”

Silver wanted to say something, but he couldn’t help but smile a little at her words, honored by her trust and also amused by the annoyed faces of the others.

“I suggest to strengthen our alliance in an old fashioned way,” Madi said, making all of them frown, except for Rackham who only muttered: “Oh God.”

“And what way would that be?” Flint asked, seeing from the corner of his eye how the silent Anne, who leaned against the wall behind Rackham shifted and put a hand to one of her deadly daggers, getting ready to defend and fight if necessary, and he found himself impressed with her instincts.

“I suggest an alliance by marriage,” Madi replied, her eyes still firmly on Silver, who stopped breathing.

The whole room grew silent as a grave, not even the sounds of breathing could still be heard. And then Vane snorted loudly, while Rackham put a hand to his face.

“I propose a marriage between me and John, to ensure and guarantee the safety of both our people,” the maroon queen continued.

Flint’s face grew pale, staring at Silver, who suddenly found himself to be the center of attention, even Anne looked at him. His blood was rushing though his ears and his heart pounded at a rate that scared him. His left leg started to shake uncontrollably, twitching and cramping and he balled his hands into fists, still staring at Madi, who suddenly started to smile softly and he saw something unexpected in her eyes. Love.

He swallowed and smiled back, lowering his gaze to look up through his long lashes, like he had seen girls do to sweet-talk their suitors.

“I’m honored and I truly don’t know what to say,” he started.

“That would be a first,” Rackham interrupted

“We should talk about this,” Flint said, his voice not as steady as it usually was, but Silver raised a hand to make them stop and listen.

“Like I said, before I was so rudely interrupted,” he mocked Rackham’s previously uttered words. “I am honored, Madi. I truly am,” he continued, looking shortly at Flint and then back at the queen. “But I cannot agree to your proposal, I am sorry.”

Madi was silent for a second.

“And why is that, John?” She asked with a silent, but form voice, never showing weakness or insecurity, and he admired her for that.

“Yeah, Silver, tell us why you won’t wed a queen,” Rackham said, the arms crossed and waiting for an explanation.

Silver gulped. He had to come up with something fast, with something reasonable, believable, and something that would get him out of being married to a beautiful woman, but a woman he would never love like she wanted and deserved to be loved. He could not condemn them both to a bond that would make them unhappy, could not do that to the generous woman who had helped him with his pain and had become his friend. Imagining a life at her side would not be so bad, but still…

“I can’t marry Madi, because I am a man of my word, and I already plighted someone else’s troth,” he said.

All eyes in the room were locked on him.

Rackham blinked in surprise, Anne raised a brow, even Vane stared at him in utter shock. Billy, who was standing behind Flint like a guard, looked questioning at someone behind Silver, and he knew he was looking at Ben, who had become Silver’s friend and was on his way to become Silver’s brother, both overprotective of each other after the traumas they had experienced in their lives.

But it was Madi, who’s reaction surprised him. Her eyes showed disappointment – and anger.

Flint, meanwhile, looked at him without emotion. At least it would seem like that to anyone who did not know his captain all too well. Silver though, he saw a storm behind Flint’s eyes, saw he was close to snapping, and he knew that when he continued with his plan, he would bring that worst of anger onto himself.

“I accepted James’ proposal to matelotage, I am sorry,” he said, smiling softly at Flint, whose eyes grew large.

...to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short one before the "real" plot starts.

“I guess congratulations are in order,” Rackham said with a cheerful smile and got up, while Silver was still staring at the door through which Flint, followed by Billy had just left. Flint only had looked at him for a moment, then shook his head, muttered an “excuse me”, and left him behind.

Silver hid his fear and insecurity behind a smile and struggled to get up, the pain in his leg now even stronger, as if the no longer existing toes were cramping. Ben was instantly at his side and steadied him with a kind hand on his upper arm, his eyes filled with concern and only when Silver nodded shortly, he let go of him, but stayed close enough to jump to his help any second.

“Thank you,” Silver said, the smile as bright as he could fake, hoping that his voice would not be as shaky as he felt, but he hoped that the others would assume it would be trembling because of the pain he was now obviously in.

“When did the almighty ginger pop the question?” Rackham inquired further.

“Oh, a while ago already. We wanted to keep it secret and go through with the vows when this all would be behind us. I’m sorry that I had to shock you with this news like this, but I had to, I apologize,” he continued, smiling kindly at Madi, who was still sitting straight backed in her chair with a look of anger on her face.

She then got up, stood there for a second and then said: “If you will excuse me,” and left the room through the same door that Flint took for his escape.

All of them looked at the door for a moment.

“Looks like she is not happy,” Vane said, chuckling. “Takes guts to upset a queen.”

Silver winced a little, while Vane grinned.

“I should go and see where Fl…I mean James went,” he said then and gave Ben with a tilt of his head the hint to come with him.

Having left the building, Ben and he went a few steps, before Silver had to steady himself against a wall and the worried Ben at his side put a flat hand against his back. These few steps already had caused Silver to break out in sweat and he panted, looking slowly up to Ben from his bowed down posture and attempted to smile.

“That went well,” he said.

Ben raised a brow.

“I don’t see where anything you just did went well. As far as I know, you and Captain Flint are in no way close enough to suggest matelotage.”

“Do you see someone like me marrying Madi, marrying a queen?”

Ben shrugged.

“I don’t see you marrying an angry pirate captain either,” he replied, and Silver looked at his friend with a little concern in his eyes.

The bad thing was – Ben had a point there. 

Flint was not only upset, he had seen in his eyes that he was angry. Silver had seen him kill men with his bare hands, had witnessed how he ransacked his way until he got to the aim he was going for. And now he had brought the anger of this man onto himself.

He had to come up with something. And he had to come up with something fast, before Flint could let out his anger on him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Flint closed the door to his cabin behind him, right into Billy’s face, who had followed him, and went straight to his desk, opening the bottle of brandy that was standing on top of it and swallowed a large gulp, hoping that the burn of the alcohol would clear his head or at least get rid of the shock and anger that was rising in his mind since Silver had declared in front of their prospect allies that they not only were about to get married, but also that he had been the one to propose a matelotage with his quartermaster.

He had stared at Silver for long seconds before he had just gotten up without a word, and had left the meeting they had taken part in, had abandoned Silver without an explanation. As far as he was concerned they could flay him alive after what he had said, he did not care. Billy had been the only one to follow him, the others knowing well to not mess with him in a moment like this, but Billy too had remained silent after a harsh and threatening gesture that had followed the single word Billy had said, trying to get his captain’s attention. He was in no state to say something, not even to think something. His head felt as empty as his heart felt heavy.

Silver.

The man that had started as an annoyance in his life, being an obstacle in the plan to get the Urca de Lima’s gold, and that had earned his trust and his friendship, had become the quartermaster his men needed, a leader among the crew who matched him in determination and completed him in ways he did not think possible. Not even Gates had fit to the place at his side like Silver did.

And now he had declared that they were about to get married.

The bottle smashed against a wall, thrown in a burst of rage.

He growled deep in his throat, not wanting to allow himself to let out a legit scream that would alarm the tall man on the other side of the door of his turmoil. But who was he kidding, Billy must have seen how upset and in what inner war the captain had been when he stomped out of the room, through the forest, right to the beach and had without a word boarded a rowboat to get back to the Walrus.

That little shit.

That utter little shit.

How he hated him. How he despised his treachery, his lies and his manipulative ways.

That little bastard with his blue eyes and his curls and that bright smile that he had not seen in such a long time.

Flint leaned against a wall and slid to the floor, pulling his knees against his chest, staring at a blank spot somewhere in the room.

That little shit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first confrontation between Flint and Silver.

Silver was not so sure that his plan was a good one when he and Ben arrived at the beach and Ben arranged one of the sailors to take them to the Walrus. He was not so sure what kind of plan it was anyway. Was it even a plan if you had no idea yet how to proceed with it? He had only reacted when Madi had proposed marriage to him. To HIM! Of all people, why would a perfect woman like Madi want to spend the rest of her days with a guy like him at her side? A man with no past, with no future either but that of a pirate and a thief, not suitable to be the husband of a queen.

The shaking of the rowboat made him more nauseous than usual. He was not build for a life at the sea, he never understood his own urge to board a ship and become a sailor, but it was the easiest way to get out of London, when the air grew thick with threat in his hometown. He had messed once too often with the wrong people, gotten tight with dangerous men, and women that is, and the only way to ensure his own safety was to get out of town, out of country. He had considered to just go to the continent, but then he had heard some drunk men in a pub that their ship was still looking for sailors before they would start their travel to the West Indies. And sounded at that time like a perfect plan. He boarded the ship, wore the skin of a merchant sailor, and was a few weeks later hiding with a cook in the bowels of the ship when they were attacked by the ruthless and infamous Captain Flint and his crew. It felt like a lifetime ago when he had become John Silver, a person suit that fit him perfectly.

And now he had brought himself once again in trouble he could maybe not get out of by his own accord.

Looking up, he noticed Ben’s eyes on him, even more bright in the blinding light of the sun that reflected on the shimmering sea. Worried eyes, and a little angry eyes too. He raised a brow in an unasked question and Ben huffed.

“What is you plan?”

Silver shrugged.

“I’ll come up with something,” he muttered.

“You better come up with something fast, luv,” Ben said, tilting his head to the ship that was their home, and that they were getting closer to fast. “He does deserve an explanation.”

With a nod, Silver took a deep breath. Oh, how he would love to stall talking to Flint, but he knew he should go and see him immediately, that they needed to talk and come together up with something that would be plausible and would get them all out of the situation that he had gotten them both into. Putting the unavoidable off for longer would only cause them more problems. They were not on the best of terms lately, their friendship having taken a blow. He knew that Flint did trust him, but would never admit to that. A few weeks back, Silver would have called them friends. Now, he was not so sure anymore what they were.

Two men helped him boarding the Walrus, and putting the leg on the planks of his home felt indeed good. He was still amused and touched by the ropes the men had spun across the ship. Ropes that were hindering their own movements but helped him to steady his walk when he could not rely on his crutch, which he hated anyway. Ben was close behind him, always there to steady him when he got insecure, but he felt with the invisible eyes in the back of his head that Ben’s attention had slipped and that he was growing nervous.

“You’ll see him in a bit,” Silver smiled without turning around.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” Ben mumbled almost with a grunt.

“Oh, we both know very good what, or better who, I am talking about.”

Ben huffed once more, a sound that made Silver chuckle while pushing open the door that lead them deeper into the ship.

It didn’t take them long to arrive at Flint’s cabin door, where they found Billy, who was leaning against the opposite wall, the muscly arms crossed and the head lowered to look at his feet.

“Billy,” Silver only said and grabbed the door handle to go and face Flint immediately.

“Not sure you should go in there,” Billy said, making Silver turn around and look at the taller man, an unspoken question on his face. “He smashed something, I don’t think he’s in a good mood.”

Silver nodded once more.

“I imagine. Still I have to talk to him, now.”

“It’s your head he’ll want on a platter,” Billy shrugged, his eyes on the person behind Silver, which amused Silver once again before he took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped into Flint’s cabin, shutting the door behind him.

“You think he’ll get out of there alive?” Ben asked. “Should we do something?”

“Not sure about the first, a definite no about the second. This is his mess, I’m not getting involved in shit like that. Whoever came up with that matelotage bullshit was an idiot anyway.”

Ben’s clear eyes grew dark.

“What do you mean?”

“Two men in something like a marriage. That’s just wrong.”

Ben felt a knot in his stomach.

“Wrong? And why would that be?” He asked. “Because some preachers or the law say so? What could be wrong about two people being so close that they want to share everything with each other, a closer bond than friendship could ever be? And since when do we follow the law anyway?”

“It’s just…wrong.”

“You’re an idiot, Billy Bones.”

“Maybe. Didn’t know the captain swings that way. There was Mrs Barlow after all,” he said, a little ashamed of his words after seeing how upset Ben had gotten.

“And what does that mean? Never met that Missus of his, but from what I heard he never looked happy. I see him look happy when he looks at John, when he think nobody is watching him. Maybe they are good for each other.”

“I think Silver is just getting them both killed.”

“You know John longer than me. He will get his hide out of every bad situation, won’t he?”

“Not sure if he can cheat his way out of this one though.”

Ben nodded and looked with worry at the closed door, hoping they would not have to dispose of a dead body when that door would open again.

* * * * * * * * * *

Silver stepped into the cabin that was filled with the light of the nearing sunset, deep shadows on every surface and took in the room he had been in so many times.

There were things in disarray. The desk a mess even more than usual, shards of glass on the floor and pieces of paper dipped in liquid and the ink on them unreadable. Even two of Flint’s treasured books had dropped onto the planks, and he felt an urge to pick them up and put back into safety. When he had done that, he turned to look for Flint, who had not made a sound and was not in plain view for him, and froze.

Flint was sitting on the floor, a small ball of the impressive man he usually was, knees pulled against his chest, the arms around them, the head bowed and the face invisible to him.

“Flint,” Silver said, the voice soft as velvet, trying to get his attention.

And indeed Flint looked up, and Silver swallowed when he saw his face now. There were traces of tears on his cheeks, the skin that had despite his pale complexion gotten a little tan that made his freckles stand out, scattered with red spots. But it was his eyes that made Silver gasp. In those blue-green orbs that could express any sort of emotion from anger, to compassion, to worry, to humor and determination, he saw … nothing.

Flint’s eyes were empty. A void that showed nothing of what was going on in his head this moment, of what Silver had caused with his words and declaration.

“Now I’m Flint again?” His captain asked, the voice rough and hardly more than a whisper. “I thought since we seem to be engaged, we would be on a first name basis, _John_.”

There was sarcasm and mockery in those words, and Silver’s shoulders grew tense. He leaned back against the desk to steady himself further and nodded.

“What I did was wrong, but now we have to face the consequences,” he said seriously.

“What you did,” Flint said, while getting up from the floor. “was betrayal once again.”

He got closer to Silver, whose blue eyes found those of Flint. He was terribly close suddenly, so close that he could feel his breath on his skin and he tilted his head on instinct up. The tension between them was unbearable now, creating goosebumps on Silver’s skin and making his heart beat in his ears. He opened his lips a little, licking them, anticipating…

And then the fist hit him and threw him off his foot.

He landed on the hard floor, shaking the impact and the confusion in his brain off and struggling to raise to his arms and knee, turning over and not having a chance to get up from the floor without help. Help, he could not expect from the man clad in black who was towering over him, both hands balled into fists. He remembered how he had seen Flint kill Singleton with his bare hands, and he now expected that Flint would drop to his knees, kneel over his chest and beat his head until it was not more than a bloody mass, and God knew, he deserved it.

The void eyes of the captain were now filled with emotion again. With anger and fury beyond words. The lips were drawn into a feral snarl and the nostrils bloated, all making him seem like a wild animal getting ready not only to attack but to kill.

Silver raised a hand, trying for a gesture to calm the other man.

“Flint,” he began. “James, I know I made a mistake. I reacted falsely, and I apologize. But please, we need to make a plan. I can get us out of this.”

“You told our allies that I’m a sodomite,” Flint hissed, hating himself for having ever trusted the man at his feet.

“And I have told them the same about me. Do you think they care?”

“Only, you are not,” Flint said, a tremble in his voice, now sinking down on the chair next to him, burying his face in a hand.

“That does not matter,” Silver continued. “It only matters what we make them believe. They know we are fighting all the time. We only have to continue and in a few weeks we will break it off with a public fight and nobody will ever remember what happened between us or that we ever were intended to get into a matelotage.”

Flint looked up.

“You are saying to fake a relationship for a while, only to part ways again.”

“That is exactly what I am saying.”

Flint’s lips grew thin, the brows knit together and the eyes looking into the emptiness.

“You are aware that I will not be able to allow my former fiancé to be part of my crew anymore once we have broken apart.”

Silver stared at him.

That was something he had not considered.

He would lose everything just because of a lie he told.

Finally, another of his lies would make him pay the biggest deed of them all.

He would lose his home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An announcement, and sort of a discovery.

For long moments, Flint was sitting crouched down on the chair and Silver on the floor, both silent in thought and both fighting their inner turmoil for different reasons.

After that while, Silver grabbed the edge of the desk and tried to pull himself up, failing and cursing under his breath. The stump was throbbing constantly now, and he sometimes thought that he should have died from bleeding out on Dr. Howell’s table instead of having been saved. Slumping down on the floor, he sighed and grabbed the desk again, pulling until he was on his right knee and tried to use his own weight for leverage to get up. His finger cramped into the wood of the table, and he was close to digging his fingernails into it, when a hand touched his shoulder, and looking up, he saw that Flint had gotten up and now put both his hands under Silver’s shoulders and hoisted him up.

“How bad is it?” The captain asked.

“It’s all good.”

“When this is all good, what does terrible then look like? You are in pain. Should I call for Howell?”

“No.”

“Silver…”

“I said: no.”

“John,” Flint said with firm voice, making Silver wince a second, like he always did when Flint used the voice of authority on him. “You need to allow yourself to get help with your leg.”

“I got help and it got better,” he replied.

“You need also to stop lying.”

Silver looked up from under a strand of his curls that had gotten loose, and smiled. Like so many times in the last months, Flint noticed how he had once seen a bright eyes young man with an even brighter smile, and now saw a man with a heavy weight hidden away, the eyes not so bright anymore but filled with pain, and with regret. Only he could not put his fingers on what Silver regretted.

“Tiger can’t change his stripes,” Silver said.

“You’re calling yourself a tiger?” Flint couldn’t help but chuckle at the smaller man.

Silver turned around and leaned against the desk.

“Never saw one, probably never will, only on pictures. No idea if I could be one, huh?”

“I read they are vicious creatures, big and strong, and very smart.”

“And you think that I don’t match that description?”

“Not the big part, no.”

“And you call me a little shit,” Silver returned the smile Flint allowed himself to.

They looked at each other for seconds.

“Do we have an accord?” Silver asked.

“To fake a relationship and then to break it off?”

Silver nodded.

“You will leave my ship afterwards, and I will never see you again.”

Silver felt dread rise in his guts.

“If that is what you want,” he said, hoping that Flint would negate this, but Flint did not.

Instead he said: “Then we have an accord.”

The smile that Silver let dance on his lips was as much of a lie as the one that brought him into this situation.

* * * * * * * * * * *

When they left the cabin, Flint having taken the lead, they found Billy and Ben both lingering still on the other side of the door. Billy was leaning, towering over everything, at the wall, while Ben was sitting on the floor, chewing on the cuticle of his thumb and jumped to his feet when the door opened, a curious look in his eyes and a hint of relief when he made out Silver behind Flint’s shoulders.

“You good?” He asked his friend.

“I’m good,” Silver replied.

Billy look confused at both men.

“Billy, call the crew to come to the main deck. We have an announcement to make,” Flint said, the voice without emotion but as calm as ever.

“Some are still ashore,” Billy remarked.

“Then get them aboard,” Flint ordered. “Now.”

Billy only nodded and then made his way to do what was demanded of him, while Ben stayed behind, his eyes lingering a while longer on the vanishing figure of the bosun.

“You really need to do something about that,” Silver said.

“Still dunno what you’re talking about,” Ben replied. “You really are good?”

“We are, Ben. Thank you,” Silver said.

Ben nodded and then left them standing in the small space in front of Flint’s cabin, now both of them looking after him until he was out of their sight.

“He really cares about you.”

Silver nodded once.

“He’s become a good friend. He’s a good man.”

“We will see about that,” Flint said. “Excuse me, I’ll have a look at the maps and write a few letters until Billy has the men assembled.”

And with that, he went back into his cabin and closed the door, leaving Silver on his own with his thoughts.

* * * * * * * * * * *

It took Billy three hours to collect all men except for one sailor who just couldn’t be found and they assumed that he either defected or got lost somewhere in the tropical forest. Either way, Flint was not willing to wait another three nerve-wrecking hours for one man whose face he couldn’t remember. Billy had still looked confused when he had returned and brought him the news that they were ready for him.

In the meantime, he had tried to keep himself busy by reading and writing two letters that had been long overdue, and had tried to not think about the mess that Silver had gotten him into. When Billy had stepped into the cabin, he only looked at his bosun for a moment.

“The crew’s ready,” Billy had said.

“Thank you, Billy,” Flint replied and got up. He took his leather coat from the chair over which he had draped it, and put it on. Without looking at the other one, he passed him and made his way to the deck, where he indeed found his whole crew assembled. Some of the men looked annoyed, other curious. Some of them were whispering to each other, there was a little laughter and movement all around.

Flint tried not to let show in what turmoil he was, that deep inside he feared that he would lose the respect of his men in a few minutes time, that men he almost called friends and family would rather stone him to death then follow his orders from today on.

He took his place in the center of the deck, waited without a word that the men would pay him attention.

“Shut the fuck up!” Silver yelled suddenly and he almost jumped at the voice of his quartermaster, who he now made out in the front row, standing right in front of him, invisible to his eyes who never focused on a single member of his crew but saw them as a unit.

The men followed Silver’s words and now waited in anticipation why their captain had ordered them here, and now Flint made out some faces that had become dear and known to him. Right next to Silver, who was just a few steps away from him, there was the newest member of his crew, Ben Gunn, a man he had yet come to know and maybe like. He respected the endurance and strength of the young scot, who survived when the rest of his crew did not, and he respected that he had started to be protective of Silver, who never took care of himself. Under the dirt he had worn like a second skin when they had met him in the cage, he was a pretty man with bright blue eyes that matched those of the younger Silver he had met a few years ago, before he had become part of a world that had taken a toll of him, and without intending to, his eyes shifted to Silver.

The quartermaster had changed his coat and was wearing the dark gray, almost black frock, and was leaning on his crutch. He had either washed or combed his hair and pulled the top back into a high ponytail. Flint had to admit that Silver was an attractive man and he would lie to himself if he did not further admit to himself that he sometimes thought what kind of relationship they would have had if they had met under different circumstances. Maybe in another world, in a future where he would not be judged and condemned for who he was.

“I have an announcement to make,” he started, the voice firm and loud enough for the last man aboard the Walrus to hear. “Some have maybe already heard rumors while being ashore, and I have called for you to come here to make sure that nobody of you has to learn the truth from someone not related to our ship, our home, our family!” Flint turned in a circle around and looked into faces that could not quite understand where his speech was leading to. “I had you come here to announce that I am going to take a big, an enormous step that may will change how things are run aboard the Walrus, but not for the worse. The step I am going to take will fundament a future of wealth, of strength and of prosperity for all of us. It will strengthen what we already have and make this ship, this crew the most successful and rich on the seven seas. Our names will become legends and even in the far salons of England they will whisper of the men of the Walrus and how they thrive.” Some of the men started to murmur. Flint saw how Billy stared open mouthed at him, while Ben next to Billy’s tall stature shifted nervously from one foot to the other, chewing on his lower lip.

Silver though, he smiled softly, a glint in his eyes, and Flint almost was able to think that the smile that he showed was honest and that of the young sailor and thief he had been back then, before.

“I want to announce that I will establish a bond that will provide all that to all of us,” he took a dramatic pause, before he continued. “I have asked the man I love, your quartermaster, John Silver, to join my hand in matelotage, to become my partner and companion, and John has accepted my proposal.”

He stretched out his right hand and held it out for Silver, who now stepped out of the group of their man and put his hand into that of their captain. Their hands joined, they looked into each other’s eyes, both smiling, while waiting for a reaction they had not been able to anticipate.

There was silence for a few seconds, but then the men started to cheer, whooping and hollering, whistling and shouting.

Silver saw shock in Flint’s eyes, not having seen this coming. The acceptance and the approval of this group of me that was their family.

“Kiss him!” Someone shouted, and while Flint looked a little surprised, it was Silver who let out a laugh and stepped closer into Flint’s personal space, tilting his head up to the taller man, a smirk on the lips.

Flint raised a brow, Silver did the same, and then their lips met for a first soft and gentle kiss, both their eyes closed.

Silver’s eyes flew open at the touch of Flint’s lips. Warm and soft, tasting of brandy and the sea.

And he could only think one thing.

Oh shit.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy gets his head set straight (or maybe not so straight), Ben is an angry puppy, Flint is a gay activist, and Silver suffers under the weight of his lies.

Two days later, Flint was going through maps, notes and papers, while Silver had placed himself in the window seat, both legs up on the padding and was trying to distract himself from the thoughts that did not leave him alone anymore with a book. Flint’s private library offered an array of books about every topic imaginable, from classic and more contemporary literature, to philosophy and books on warfare and botany. What had surprised him the most when he had gone through Flint’s books years ago were the poetry books of the English Renaissance, something that got him curious because he had never had access to books like that after having taught himself to read, and now he was buried in a book that he wanted to hide from Flint. Therefore, he had turned a little towards the window and leaned over the book, taking in the words he was reading.

“What do you read?” Flint asked behind him and he looked over his shoulder to find the captain leaned back in his chair, one leg drawn up and a piece of paper in his hands. He looked at Silver with a raised brow and the hint of a smile. “I’ve never seen you this silent before, so I assume it is something of interest for you.”

Silver smiled and turned back around, swinging the stump over the edge of the seat, not feeling much pain today which was rare and which put him into a good mood. He closed the book but held against his lap, almost carefully stroking the leather cover.

“_Passions are liken’d best to floods and streams:_  
_The shallow murmur, but the deep are dumb;_  
_So, when affection yields discourse, it seems_  
_The bottom is but shallow whence they come_,” he quoted from memory.

“_They that are rich in words, in words discover_  
_That they are poor in that which makes a lover_,” Flint finished with a nod and another of his smiles that had become rare. “Raleigh. A fitting choice.”

Silver tilted his head to the side.

“Why is that?”

“He was not only a poet, he was also a soldier, spy and explorer at Queen Elisabeth’s court. He is said to have been the one to initiate the first privateers that raided the Spanish fleet back then. So, he is something like our great-grandfather,” Flint chuckled. “He made tobacco fashionable and he brought something to Britain that you have a dear connection to,” Silver raised both brows. “He brought the potato plant to Ireland.”

Silver couldn’t help but hold back laughter, and while the laughter pearled from his lips, he could not remember the last time he felt the need to laugh like this, the eyes wrinkling until tears streamed down his face.

“Who is peeling potatoes nowadays anyways?” Flint asked.

“You really are the worst captain ever. I know the story that you did not know who Billy was after he was part of your crew for years, and now you don’t know who our cook is?”

Flint shrugged with a mischievous gleam in his eyes that showed Silver that he was just messing with him, sometimes a lot more childish than his serious demeanor let assume. Flint’s laugh was giggling and barking, something that amused Silver every time he had the pleasure to hear it, which was not often enough.

Silver continued watching Flint, while holding the poetry book firmly in his hand, planning on taking it later to his hammock to read more of the poems that fascinated him. He was a man of colorful words himself, and yet the words poets found to describe feelings and love, it was something that touched him deeply.

Both men had grown more relaxed around each other after the public declaration of their intentions to commit to a matelotage. He had seen stress, tension and, yes, fear fall from Flint’s face when the men surrounding them had not reacted with rejection. It seemed like years vanished from Flint’s face in an instant, as if lines vanished and made the man resurface that loss and pain had ultimately killed. Only few men had not congratulated them on their pledge to become bonded, surprisingly Billy among them who gave insecure and hesitant looks. Silver was surprised after having thought Billy to be one of his closest friends, but they had not exchanged a single word since the announcement and he had the impression that Billy and Ben had some sort of quarrel with each other, ignoring the other and only sending each other glaring looks. He had to try and remember to ask Ben about what happened.

Most of their crew had stepped forward after their kiss, clapped them on the shoulders, some even hugged a wide-eyed Flint, who looked definitely helpless at the attention he was suddenly the center of. Silver only had a hint of an idea what Flint had gone through in his past, being shunned and ridiculed for preferring the company of men, and the shimmer in the captain’s eyes, the pupils wide in shock, showed him that Flint never in his life had experienced being accepted like this and had not expected this reaction of their men. Probably he had expected to be attacked, that there would be cruel and hateful words thrown at them, that he would have to defend them with fists. And then, instead of that, he had faced something he did not know existed. Acceptance. Friendship. Respect.

Silver had spent the rest of the day close to Flint, the both playing their part by casually touching the other at the arm or hand, sometimes he found Flint’s hand on his back, having an impromptu celebration with the men who wanted to make merry throughout the night with the couple, persuading Flint to have rum and brandy handed out. He watched Flint often from the corner of his eye, and when they were dragged apart by the chattering and slightly drunk pirates, he always found him again and returned to his side. Something in him wanted to be close to Flint, to James. To smell that scent of the ocean and of musk that surrounded him, clean and manly. Something Silver responded to on a level that he did not know.

He did not even know that he could ever react to someone like this. This was not desire. This was something else. Something he never felt before.

These were feeling that confused Silver.

He was glad that his friendship with Flint was almost back to what it had been and he was sure that had to do with Flint being, with his unplanned help, more confident about who he was and that there was a touch of gratefulness in the almost friendly behavior Flint started to show, which was nice.

But he wished it was something else.

He wished he understood what that feeling was that was brewing in his stomach and that grew stronger and stronger with every day.

A know on the door stopped his thoughts and he looked up, while Flint barked a “come in”.

It was Billy who stepped into the room, followed by Ben, whose eyes showed that he was angry and sulking, looking at the taller man’s back, almost pushing him in front of his captain.

“Billy, what is it?” Flint asked.

Silver put the book on the cushion next to him and set up more straight, both hands supporting him on the seat, the eyes exploring the bosun’s stern face.

Billy was growing a beard it seemed, and he did not look up and instead looked at his feet, not daring to look at either his quartermaster or captain.

“Tell them,” Ben said and shoved Billy into the back with one hand. “Or I will.”

Flint took a posture of authority and leaned forward in his chair, the hands on the desk, the eyes firmly on the bosun who chewed on his lower lip.

“I…uhm…,” Billy started but hesitated again.

“Goddammit, William,” Ben said, stressing out that he used Billy’s full name. “Tell him. Now.”

“Can you just give me a moment, _Benjamin_?” Billy gave back, the head turned a little so he could look at the smaller man, both glaring at each other full of annoyance.

Silver grinned at the antics of the two men, and at the same time he was worried at what was going on between his two friends. He was especially worried about Ben at this time, knowing the trauma he had gone through and not able to accept that Ben would face any more pain.

At this moment though, it looked like the one of the two men that was a head smaller than the other, was the one in charge and ready to fight the other with fists, claws and teeth if he had to. Frustration was so clear on Ben’s face as his eyes were blue.

“I’m waiting,” Ben hissed, the voice dangerously low, a threat swinging in his words, and Billy actually winced.

“What is it you want to tell us, Billy?” Silver asked.

“I…uhm…,” Billy babbled again.

Ben rolled his eyes.

“He started to tell the men that he think a matelotage between the two of you is wrong,” Ben revealed. “Because this idiot here has a problem with two men being together. Someone needs to tell him that he’s a fucking pirate and we are this because we don’t live after the laws of the common people. He’s a bloody idiot this one, I tell ya.”

Flint frowned.

“Is that true, Billy?”

Billy nodded without looking up, clearly ashamed. Silver got up and hobbled the few steps to stand behind Flint’s chair and put a hand of James’ shoulder, showing the two men in front of them that they stood together. Ben raised a brow behind Billy, the only one aware of Silver’s lie, while Billy again pressed his lips together.

“I mean,” he started. “I’ve always been told that it’s wrong to lay with a man. It’s dirty and a sin. There must be a reason why I was told so. Why would you lay with a man anyway, it’s not like you could get a child out of this, so why marry a man.”

Even Flint could not help but smile at those words, Silver doing the same, while it was Ben who rolled his eyes and shoved Billy again hard into the back, making Billy stumble and hiss some annoyed words about a “barking puppy”.

“Sit down, Billy,” Flint demanded and Billy hesitated only shortly before taking a chair, still not daring to look up. “First, I warn you. If you shit talk the relationship between John and myself, I will have you pay for that. I am protective of what is mine, and you will not want to come between him and me.” Now Billy looked up, worry on his face. “Secondly, who do you think you are, judging this?”

“I just,…I thought,…,” Billy whispered.

“No, you didn’t think at all,” Silver said and stepped to stand right next to Flint, his hand now on the other’s shoulder. “You forget a few things in your way of thinking. You forget that a matelotage is not to be compared with the marriage between a man and a woman. It is foremost a business agreement, a contract James and I will sign to ensure that we will take care of each other, share our profits and wealth. Should one of us one day choose to take a woman, we would be allowed to. You also forget that fucking is not for the sole purpose of producing children, otherwise brothels would have no business. It’s actually quite pleasurable, especially when you found someone who you belong to. What James and I share is our privacy, and nothing you or any other man should waste a thought about. But let me assure you, this is a bond of mutual.”

“Ben put it nicely,” Flint continued. “We are pirates. We do not follow anymore the laws we were taught in our past lives. Some of us left those past lives because of these laws,” Silver’s fingers dug deeper into his shoulder, remembering the past pain Flint had to endure and without thinking, Flint raise his own hand and put it on top of Silver’s.

“Maybe, just maybe you need to open your eyes, turn around and see what is standing in front of you. You might find happiness of your own this way.”

Billy looked at Silver, then his eyes grew larger, understanding what Silver had just implied, and a blush crept up his cheeks.

“I’m not…,” the bosun said as if defending himself against an accusation. “I mean…”

“Shut the fuck up, Manderly,” Ben hissed behind him.

“Just consider this,” Silver said, the voice the soft tone he often used when he needed to manipulate someone. “I was never either. I never wasted a thought on another man. And then there was James.”

Flint looked up, wonder in the eyes, and Silver could not help but smile gently at him, their hands still connected.

“I have found a place in my life that I am not willing to give up,” Silver said, sadness in his eyes, knowing that he spun once again a lie. “And I hope that one day, you will do the same. I hope one day you will find love.”

A tear escaped Silver’s left eye, not able to fight back the pain he felt at the knowledge that he soon would lose everything he held dear, that the man at his side thought every of the words he just said was another of his lies. He wanted to see tears in Flint’s eyes, wanted him to feel that he spoke the truth, that he wanted to get to know a side of him he had not had the chance to experience. Instead, there were clouds in Flint’s eyes. Dark clouds of hurt and bitterness.

“You are dismissed,” Flint said. “If you were a child I would scold you and demand that you think about your words and their consequences. But you are a man, and I thought you a friend.”

“I am. I just don’t understand.”

“Try to,” Silver asked of him.

Billy nodded and got up, getting ready to leave, while Ben stood still at the same spot he had spent the last minutes at and only now Silver noticed that his hands were balled to fists.

“There is another thing,” Ben said, relaxing now a little. “The men are talking about a wedding.”

“I am aware that we are joining…,” Silver started.

“No. They are talking about a wedding,” Ben interrupted him. “They want a real ceremony and not just the signing of a contract. They want to see you both exchange vows in front of God and your family.”

Silver blinked.

Flint stopped breathing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silver and Ben talking, and the reappearance of a missing crew member.

Billy avoided both of them not only during the next days, but also during their journey back to Nassau, where Flint intended to confer with other captain’s, the threat of Rogers and the British navy hanging heavy in the air.

In the meantime it was the middle of summer, and it was almost unbearable hot and Silver wished nothing more than just strip out of his boots and coat and jump into the ocean to cool somewhat down. He had his long curls tied up in a ponytail and leaned heavy on his crutch, sweat on his forehead and panting slightly. The pain had returned once more and he only wanted to rest.

Being around Flint had shown to be more complicated for him. Flint seemed to be oblivious of what was going on with Silver’s emotions and only played his partner and probably lover for the crew, behind closed doors they had returned to a trustful friendship. The captain seemed more relaxed, more at ease with himself, and sometimes looked with unbelieving eyes at the people surrounding him. Silver knew that Flint, if asked, would tell him that he never thought any person on the world could accept him as he was. That the men of his crew did not question his authority and thought a bond between him and their beloved quartermaster, who often was Flint’s conscience when making decisions, was their voice, was a strong one and would only make the Walrus stronger and better, like Flint had announced in his speech. Even Joji and DeGroot had told Silver that they were happy for them, that they were looking forward to the festivities they expected for the wedding.

The wedding.

Nobody had approached him or Flint directly, but he had overheard murmurs and rumors, whispers that stopped as soon as he got close enough to listen to them. It drove him crazy that there was a secret he was not part of, still he was sure the men would not be planning something without their knowledge, knowing that Flint’s anger was not something any man would like to face. They probably would end with a bullet in their head if they did.

He pushes himself from the railing he had been leaning against and made his way slowly back to the stacks of rope and barrels, where he had seen Ben earlier, and indeed he did find his friend sitting there, having a gray and white cat on his lap that purred loudly and rubbed her head against Ben’s arm.

“I haven’t seen her in ages,” Silver said surprised.

“Billy said she did belong to someone called Randal?” Ben asked.

“Yes, He was killed the day they took my leg,” he replied, stomping his peg leg once onto the plants, making Ben look at the metal foot and wince. “I haven’t seen her since, she must have been hiding.”

Ben nodded.

“She showed up in my hammock three nights ago and she’s not leaving my side. Guess that means she likes me,” the younger man smiled, stroking the cat’s head, making her purr even louder. “You don’t look good.”

“It’s the heat,” Silver explained. “And the leg is not feeling too good either.”

“You should put some of the salve on it, that stinking stuff you’ve gotten from Madi’s people.”

“I can take care of myself,” Silver snapped, always annoyed that everyone thought it was their duty to smother him with worries.

“Then do that for once. You’re not very good in taking care of yourself, for a man this smart that’s a very unsmart habit you have there.”

Silver sat down on a stack of ropes and stretched his left leg, Ben’s eyes glued on his every movement.

“Why don’t we talk about you and the virgin giant?”

Ben huffed and busied himself with cuddling with the cat in his lap.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Of course not. Not that you would be pining for Billy since the day you met him.”

Ben looked up.

“I met him in a cage after I’ve seen my whole crew being tortured to death. Believe me, my survival was a bigger priority than that mountain of muscle you call a bosun.”

“Still only had eyes for him. Does he know by now?”

“He wouldn’t know if I waved a flag with his name on his in front of his face. And maybe it’s better this way.”

“Why so?”

“Cause he is an idiot and an asshole. Seems I tend to surround myself with people like that,” Ben winked. “You heard what he thinks about you and the captain. I’m pretty sure that he won’t react to happily if I made advances towards him. I’m quite biased about keeping my skin intact.”

“I’m sure you would take him in a fight.”

“He’s like ten foot talled than me,” he exaggerated.

“And you’re mean and evil. Seen you fight, Ben. I’m sure you could take any man you want to. You fight like a cat. Feral and vicious.”

Ben chuckled and wrapped his arms around Betsy who did not struggle but tried to crawl even closed into the embrace.

“Must be the reason why at least she loves me.”

“You should open our bosun’s eyes, Ben. No need to suffer like this.”

“Says the man who is soon going into a marriage without love.”

Silver looked down, not able to look at Ben at those words. He then sighed and struggled to get up.

“Should go and check on the schedule,” he said, but Ben put a hand on his arm, Betsy jumping off his lap onto the floor, but staying next to his leg.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Let go of me.”

“You are in love with him? When the fuck did that happen?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not in love with anyone. Especially not James.”

“James, huh? Was Flint a few weeks ago.”

“Shut up.”

“You need to tell him.”

Silver looked into Ben’s eyes, both man not on the tall side and almost on one level.

“Tell him what? That I faked an engagement to him to get out of marrying Madi and now I find myself having fallen in love with him? He would hardly believe me, Ben.”

“You could try.”

“I’d rather get into a fist fight with Teach.”

“Well, as soon as he’s on the floor, you could use your leg again.”

“Not funny, Ben.”

“I’m serious though. You need to tell Flint.”

“Tell me what?”

Both men’s head snapped around and both stared like children who were caught with their hands in the cookie jar at their captain.

“Tell me what?” Flint repeated.

“Tell you that Ben plans to go and talk to Billy.”

Ben glared at Silver.

“Why would I need to know of that?”

“Because you are the captain? And if two of your crewmen start something like a relationship you should be made aware of that.”

“Relationship. Billy Bones. And a relationship,” Flint deadpanned. “I do not see that happening anytime soon.”

“Yeah, me neither, John,” Ben hissed, Betsy mewling at his feet at the same time and prompting the sailor to pick her up and press a kiss between her ears. “Please excuse me while I go and commit suicide.”

He stomped away, leaving the two men behind who looked after him, both slightly amused.

“Wait. Was that Betsy?”

“You didn’t know who Billy is. You don’t know who our cook is. But you know who Betsy is? Really?” Silver laughed under his breath, noticing that Flint’s eyes looked emerald green in this light. Since when did he notice Flint’s eye color?

“Randal was a good man,” Flint only said, as if that explained everything, and it kind of did. “I hope he takes good care of her.”

“I’m sure he will.”

Silver passed Flint, getting ready to return to his duties, and touched his hand casually, having seen how some of the sailors were always watching them, often smiling when they touched and whispered to each other, like they suddenly stopped hiding their attraction to each other. The skin of Flint’s hand was warm, a fuzz of soft hair on the back of his hand that tickled his own skin.

* * * * * * * * * *

Silver was standing next to Flint on the upper deck when the Walrus was steered into the bay and the anchor dropped.

It felt good to see the rooftops of Nassau after months away, and a part of Silver could not wait to get his foot back on the ground of the town he has started to see as a second home. Maybe one day he would settle in these street, in a nice small house with a nice woman…he frowned at his own thoughts. Once upon a time, that had been his dream. To have a home, a place to belong, a family, a person at his side. But the moment Flint had told him that he was to leave the Walrus when they ended the charade his lie had gotten them into, he had realized that he already had all that.

He had a home and a place to belong to in the Walrus, even if it was just a hammock in the lower deck.

He had a family in the crew. The men who were his friends, who would die for him and he for them, despite him being not worth the dirt under their nails. His closest friends in Ben and Billy, who were the brothers he never had.

And he had a person at his side.

He looked to his right, where Flint was standing, the serious face directed towards the town himself, also in thought, and Silver asked himself what Flint was thinking about. Maybe of Mrs. Barlow and what could have been if she had not been killed. Maybe of the lost love of his life, that Silver was growing more and more jealous of.

Not that he wanted Flint to forget about the man he described to him, he just wanted someone to remember him the same way. Wanted someone to still love him years after his death and never forget him. He was sure that one day, nobody would remember John Silver. He would only be a fading memory, the quartermaster of James Flint. He was not ambitious about the position he held, he did not desire to become captain of his own ship one day.

He only wanted to be loved like Flint was still loving Thomas Hamilton.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few overdue talks happening.

“You’re a fucking bloody idiot, Billy Bones!” Ben yelled, making some of the heads of the other men at the beach turn. Even Betsy who was now his constant companion and was rarely leaving his side, jumped and hid behind his legs.

“I just meant…,” Billy started to explain himself, but Ben threw both hands up and stopped his words before they left his mouth.

“Just get out of my eyes. I don’t have to talk to you and I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Billy looked hurt and even though he was clearly the taller of the two, his shoulders crunched down and he seemed like a little boy who upset his parents.

“I didn’t mean anything by…”

“By saying ONCE AGAIN that you think it wrong when two men love each other!” Ben yelled, stomping into his tent and making himself busy with the chest in which his few belongings were, things the other crew members gifted to the lost sailor who had nothing of the things left he previously had owned. There was a bar of soap that smelled quite nice and that one of the sailors and stolen from a wench the last time they had been in Nassau, a comb, two shirts and a pair of pants, a few candles and matches, a small knife and a bottle of brandy, a pair of spare boots that Silver had given him, and a book he had received from Flint after he had learned that the Scottish sailor could read. But it was a small box he was trying to find, the box another gift from Silver, but inside the only thing of worth he had been able to hide and keep from his former life.

He was cursing under his breath and took everything out of the chest, but he box, small wooden and carved with a filigree of marquetry, was not there.

Ben slumped down in the sand next to the makeshift bed, blinking and one hand opening and closing in the sand to calm his nerves. First Billy upset him again, then his most precious possession was gone, maybe stolen. He would not be stupid enough to accuse anyone of stealing it, but he also knew that he was living with a group of thieves and scoundrels and that no piece of possession was safe. Thievery would be punished according to the Walrus’ rules, and he had witnessed that Flint and Silver carried out those punishments, not straying from the codex the crew had agreed on, when Flint had shot a thief who had stolen a pair of boots from a fellow sailor right between the eyes and had disposed of the body into the sea, seemingly without emotion. Flint had stomped back to his cabin while Silver had given a short speech and warning to the other crewmen who looked down in shame and some hints of fear, and warned them to not follow the just executed man’s way. If Ben accused anyone of stealing something that was his, he would need to prove it and there was no way to prove it because he had not shown anyone the item inside the box.

The sting of tears reached his eyes and he rubbed his face.

“No no no no no no,” he whispered, failing at holding back the tears that showed his weakness and sensitivity. “Please, no. I’m so sorry, mama.”

“Not sure why you call me mama, but apology accepted.”

Ben looked up and noticed Silver standing in the entrance of his tent. He wiped the tears from his face, hoping his friend and quartermaster had not seen them, but it was too late. Silver’s smile vanished and he immediately had a look of concern on his face.

“What is it? Did Billy upset you again?”

Ben shook his head no.

“No, I mean yes he did, but that’s not it,” he explained.

Silver let himself down into the sand next to Ben and leaned his shoulder against that of his friend.

“What’s wrong? Anything to do with the mess you made here?” He asked, the eyes on the collection of trinkets and things on the floor in front of them, between them and the chest he recognized as the one Ben was storing his belongings in.

Ben only nodded and nervously stroked his own leg.

“I’m missing something,” he whispered without looking up.

“What do you miss?”

“The small box of wood you gave me.”

Silver looked at Ben.

“I got it here from the market, it’s not worth much, we can get a new one.

“It’s not the box, not that I didn’t like it, but what’s inside,” Ben sniffed.

Silver nodded in understanding and leaned forward as far as his peg leg allowed him, the crutch in the sand next to them, and started to sort through the things Ben had put carelessly away. He sorted the smaller things back into the chest, but kept the clothing items outside, then starting to shake them out and indeed, out of a fold of the pants fell the small box that Ben stared at for a moment and then grabbed and pressed against his heart.

“Oh thank goodness,” he said with closed eyes, still tears on his cheeks, Silver patting his shoulder to calm him.

“Never seen you like this,” Silver said, while putting the remaining items also into the chest and closing it then.

Ben pressed his lips together and then opened the small box, taking out what was inside and handing the item to Silver to inspect.

It was a rosary made of small black pearls, with a silver crucifix at the end in which’s center he found a single shimmering blue and turquoise gemstone that Silver knew to be an agate. It was not a rich lady’s piece of jewelry, but Silver had seen enough jewelry in his life that he could say it was well made, and obviously it held something of significance to Ben, whose eyes were on Silver’s hands, eyes that matched the color of the stone.

“It was my mama’s,” Ben told him. “She gave it to me on her deathbed, before my father took me away and gave me to the merchant captain. He was a good man, but he could not take care of the six of us without mama. Never saw my home again since.” He smiled helplessly. “She said, I am to keep it until I find the person my heart is destined to belong to and then to give it to them. Guess she knew I’d never take a lady to church. I promised to never give it away and to never lose it. I promised.”

“And you hid it all these years?” Silver inquired.

“Yeah. Thought it was gone.”

“You’ve done well. Your mama would be proud of you.” Silver bumped his shoulder against Ben’s. “The color of the agate?”

“My mama was given it to by my pa when they wed. I have my mama’s eyes. When she got sick, he wasn’t the same anymore, I think a part of him died with her, slowly, while she was suffering from the fever.”

“Billy will keep it save and cherish it for the rest of his life.”

Ben huffed.

“Billy is not the one for me.”

“We both know better, don’t we?”

“What we know doesn’t help anything if he doesn’t know it either.”

Silver put his crutch into the sand and started to raise.

“We’ll see about that. And now help me up.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Silver found Billy on the market, where the bosun inspected bolts of sailcloth for the needed repairs on the Walrus’s sails that had taken damage during their last travels. The merchant was trying to bargain for a higher price and Silver watched, almost impressed, how Billy insisted on a lower price because of the quality of the cloth, implying he had seen better, which was probably not true. Silver had often witnessed that men as tall as Billy were shy and almost submissive, aware of the strength they carried, often soft and gentle souls, and he had seen the same traits in Billy. But he also knew Billy as a stubborn and obstinate man that was hard to deal with when he had made his mind up.

He watched without interfering how Billy finished the deal and arranged to have the sailcloth delivered to the beach so they could start the repairs as soon as possible, something that especially Billy was always eager to so they could get back on the sea.

When Billy turned around to return to the beach, he noticed Silver standing there, watching him. Without acknowledging him, he passed him with a nod, but Silver turned and hobbled on his crutch as fast as he could to catch up with the taller man.

“Could you go any faster?” Silver muttered out of breath, but Billy did not slow down.

“Did you want something from me?” He asked instead.

“Yes. I do want something from you. Slow the fuck down, not everyone has legs that long, or two of those at least.”

Billy frowned and now slowed down a little, almost having reached the beach already.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“I got the sailcloth and at a good price. We should have the sails ready again in about three days.”

“We need more repairs after the storms we’ve been through than just the sails, and you know that. What I wanted to talk to you about is a personal matter. Let’s go somewhere where we can sit down and talk a few things out. Just you and me.”

He saw that Billy wanted to decline, but still ne nodded and followed Silver a few minutes down the beach until they had a reached a tipped palm tree on which Silver sat down, next to a small campfire that was set up now that the sun was slowly fading. The soft sand made it necessary for him to use peg leg and crutch combined, the ground too shifty for him to be sure that he would not lose balance and fall, something he would have liked to avoid.

Billy remained standing, towering over him and standing in the sun, so that Silver had to blink and squeeze his eyes to be able to see anything of him.

“Sit down, I’m straining my neck looking up at you,” Silver grinned and Billy took a place next to him. “We need to talk about Ben.”

Billy looked up from he hands he had started to inspect.

“What is with Ben? Is he hurt?” He asked with that kind of worry in his voice that showed Silver that he cared about the newest member of their crew.

“Hurt yes. Just not in the way you may think,” the quartermaster said, making Billy frown once more. “He’s hurt by the things you say and that you are blind.”

“Blind?”

“Tell me, Billy. Do you think differently of me or the captain now that you know that we are to join in a matelotage? Are we not still the same men you’ve come to know?”

“I guess,” came the short reply.

“Where does this rejection come from, Billy? You’re a pirate. We’re murderer, thieves, we follow the laws we make ourselves. Why is it that one law from the old countries that you can’t forget when it doesn’t even concern yourself?”

“Because it’s wrong.”

“Billy…”

“No, John. It’s wrong and you won’t be able to convince me otherwise.”

“I just want to understand. Ben only wants to understand, and he deserves to understand before you break his heart even more. He has been through too much already, he does not need this.”

“Break his heart?”

“That is what I meant with you being blind,” Silver started. “Don’t you really see what Ben feels for you? The way he looks at you? That he follows you like a lost puppy? That he’s always at your side?”

“He’s yelling at me all the time.”

“Yes, he is now. Because he is resignating and he can’t shut his feelings down. Let me tell you something,” Silver continued. “I have never seen a man like that. Never in my life. I accepted that others were like that and more than once have I been approached like that and not always in a nice way, but I never felt that way for a man myself. I desired women. I like their curves and soft skin and lips, I like to fuck them and kiss them and suck at their tits.” He smiled noticing how Billy got a little uncomfortable. “And now I’m marrying James, and I realize that I feel for a man what I never felt for a woman. Desire of the flesh is not a replacement for love, for true love. It’s trust and friendship, companionship and the desire to make the other person smile, to make them happy. I want all that with James. I never want to see him cry or upset again. God knows, he will always have that anger in him, this force to be reckoned with, but you either love a person complete or not at all, and I love every part of him, the passion and the anger, the fury and the war in his soul. But I love the gentleness of his voice and the kindness of his heart as well. How can that be wrong?”

Billy looked now at him, the mouth a little open, having never expected Silver to open up like this towards him.

“It’s…it’s not. It’s not wrong,” Billy said. “You’re right. Love can never be wrong.”

“Now tell me what you want for Ben?”

“I want him to never have nightmares again, and to see him smile,” Billy’s voice got silent. “I can’t love him, Silver. I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t force yourself to love someone, not woman and not man. Don’t you feel any desire to find your second half? Do you want to be alone?” Silver asked honestly, knowing that there were many men and women who preferred to spend their lives alone.

“It’s not that I don’t want to love him,” Billy whispered. “I just can’t.”

Silver tilted his head to the side.

“I was pressganged onto a ship when I was just a boy of twelve. There were men on the ship I was taken onto that tried things, but they didn’t succeed. I thought that they were like that, and my parents, they were…they were reformists, they never forced any beliefs on me, so I never thought bad of people who live alternative ways. There was a lady living in the house next to ours, who lived with another lady. It was…normal.”

“What happened?”

“There was a young sailor on the ship. Uly. He was a pretty guy and he was nice and helped me find my way around the ship, took me under his wings. He was like that, and he was in love with the ship’s bosun. I saw them once, when they…uhm…you know?”

“I know.”

“When the captain found out about them, they had Uly flogged for the sin, while the bosun just watched. They flogged him until the flesh peeled of his back. He died after days of fever from the infection. He told me that love between men can’t exist, that men are animals. The bosun made me his bitch the day after Uly died.”

Silver gasped at his friend, understanding dawning that Billy was scared out of his mind of ending like his friend Uly.

“Ben is not like that, not every man is an animal, Billy, you know that. What was the ship’s name?”

“He is dead,” Billy said, sensing what Silver was implying. “The ship was taken by Flint a few years later. I killed him and joined Flint’s crew.”

“You’ve done well then.”

“I can’t love Ben, John. I can’t. God is my witness, I want to, but what if…”

They were interrupted by a boy from the town who was reaching them and looked hesitantly at the infamous two men.

“I have a dispatch for one John Silver. I was told that is you?”

Silver nodded and took the envelope the boy was holding, giving him in exchange a coin. He inspected the words written onto the paper and took a deep breath.

“This is something I need to take care of for a moment, Billy,” he said, opening the envelope and taking a letter out, reading it with frowned brows.

The words sunk into his brain, making him feel nauseous and filling his veins with ice water. He felt sweat build on his forehead and how his hands started to tremble.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face.

“Bad news?” Billy asked.

He didn’t look at his friend. Instead he got up and went over to the campfire.

“It’s nothing of import,” he said, and threw the paper into the fire, watching the words burn to ashes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rackham being Rackham...

“Absolutely not!”

Rackham did not give Flint more than a shrug and a grin.

“Absolutely yes,” he gave back, leaning back in his chair in the brothel, Flint on the other side of the table, Vane sitting next to him, trying to look disinterested, while not being able to hide the glint of mischief in his own eyes.

“You are absolutely not planning a wedding for Silver and me!” Flint barked.

“I absolutely am. Who else would be capable of doing that for you?”

“There is not going to be a wedding,” Shocked faces followed this declaration, making him correct himself. “I mean not a ceremony of sorts. We will set up a contract, Featherstone is already on it, and we will sign it with witnesses. It’s a matelotage, not a bloody marriage.”

“Ah bullshit,” Rackham said. “Everyone here knows you are pining for that poodle of yours, for years. Only a blind man would not see the way you look at him. _Oh John, you are so pretty and my cock swells at the sight of you_.”

“If you want to keep your own cock, you may better shut up,” Flint growled, making Vane finally react with a chuckle.

“How nice of you to join the conservation, Charles,” Rackham snarked, making Vane raise his brows.

“I’m actually with Jack on this one,” Vane drawled.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“You and Silver, we all saw that coming for years, only you two thought we’d never notice,” Rackham continued. “Alone the relief that we no longer have to pretend we don’t see you idiots being in love deserves proper festivities. And I am the perfect man to plan all that.”

“John and I are NOT marrying.”

“Yes, you are. Try to stop me.”

Without a word, Flint put his gun on the table, followed by a dagger and a second gun.

“No guns on the tablecloth, cher,” Max said, putting a bottle of wine on the table and smiling kindly at the three men. “I hear you are tying the knot with dear John?”

“We are NOT getting married. It’s a matelotage, for God’s sake.”

“Your men want a party. You want a party.”

“I really don’t,” Flint said, slowly understanding that he had not much of a say in the matter anymore. “I just want to sign a contract and be done.”

“Even Anne is looking forward to wearing a pretty dress for your wedding,” Jack continued.

“I really am not,” the silent woman behind him said.

“Not helping,” Rackham said. “Look, James, we’ve all been through a lot of shit, and a lot more shit is going to rain down on us soon. That Rogers bastard is a true threat to Nassau and our freedom. Your wedding,” He raised a hand when he noticed that Flint again wanted to interrupt him. “Your wedding is the distraction this town needs. You are, despite knowing better, someone these people look up to, the poodle as well. It’s like their king is marrying, and if you ever hold against me that I said that, I will have you flayed. This is like, the wedding of the century for us all. It’s the last festivity, the last piece of happiness we can witness before many of us will lose their lives in the war to come. Give them this. Give _us_ this, James. You can’t be sure that you or John will survive this. Make your boy happy, paint that smile on his face that he lost with his leg.”

James stared at Rackham, who had leaned forward, both hands on the table folded. Even Vane had gone silent and looked at Rackham, both not expecting the seriousness in his words, the implication and cruel truth of an unknown future he just had told.

“In a few weeks from now, we will be at war with England. You have been a navy man yourself, James, you know that this will be the end of many of us. As much as I hate to admit this, but I’ve come to like this place. This is home to all of us. To Charles, and Anne, and Max, and me. And to you and John. Before we are going to die, let us celebrate love and life one last time.” His voice had gone silent, but not at all manipulative. “Let us celebrate hope.”

Flint leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath and pressing his lips together.

Without a word, he took the bottle of wine, opened it and took a few gulps, before putting it back on the table, a drop of the red liquid on his lower lip. Blood rushed in his ears and his heart was thumping heavily in his chest. He did not love John Silver. He did not. He just did not.

“I hate you, Jack,” he said, looking at a spot on the table.

“I know. I hate you too,” Rackham replied with another of his smirks.

Flint sighed loudly.

“Very well,” he began. “Let’s have a wedding.”

“Yes!” Rackham yelled, making even the always relaxed Vane jump. “It’s going to be fabulous! I need to get in contact with a lot of people, oh, there is so much to do!”

Rackham got up, took Anne by the sleeve and dragged her after himself out of the brothel.

“Why do I have the feeling I’m going to regret this?” Flint asked, not expecting a reply.

“Because this is Rackham you are talking about,” Vane said, taking the bottle now himself.

“That is not what I meant.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Silver was still sitting at the palm tree when Flint found him.

It had gotten dark, and the campfire had almost burned down, yet, Silver was staring into the flame, holding a bottle of rum in his hand, sipping from it now and then.

Wordlessly, Flint sat down next to him, taking the bottle from his hand and took a large gulp.

“Not a good day?” Silver asked.

“No,” Flint replied, the voice not much more than a whisper. “It looks like we are getting married.”

“We’re not. Remember our accord?”

“I do remember our accord. Only our _friends_ were not aware of that little detail of our arrangement.”

“What are you talking about?”

Flint took another sip.

“Rackham reminded me of my, of our positions in Nassau’s society, and that everyone expects us to have a big wedding.”

“You can’t be serious. Since when do we follow what anyone expects of us?”

Panic started to rise in Silver.

“He also reminded me of the war that is coming.”

“Oh dammit,” Silver whispered, understanding Flint’s words.

Flint nodded.

“He is right, you know? These men,” He pointed his head to the men that were on the beach, drinking and laughing together, sitting in the sand in front of makeshift tents that were their temporary home for the next days if not weeks. “Our men. Some of them will not survive. Maybe we will all go down with what comes next. They are good men, don’t tell them I said that out loud, and they do deserve a reason to believe in a future.”

“And their leaders marrying will make them believe that we ourselves believe that there is hope for us, why else would we marry if not to spend the future together,” Silver finished the thought.

When he looked at Flint, he noticed a tear running down his cheek.

“We’re getting married,” Flint whispered almost not hearable.

Silver looked back into the dying flame, taking the bottle back from Flint when it was offered to him. He could not bear how Flint suffered, how filled with pain and empty his eyes had become again since they last saw each other. The dread, the realization of being tied to Silver until one of them died, just for the sake of their men, hurt Silver deeply. He wished there was a way to go back in time, to undo his lie and to get back to where they had been. Not really friends, but not this either. What were they now anyway? He should have just accepted to marry Madi and be done with it, losing his crew and family, losing the life he chose for himself for the greater good.

He had been selfish. He always was selfish.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silver comes to a decision.

“That is…,” Silver said, his voice coming out as a whisper.

“French silk, and have you seen the details on the buttons?” Rackham commented enthusiastically, running circles around him and pulling and prodding at him until the frock coat he had forced him into sat smoothly at all the right places. “The best that money can buy.”

“Meaning you could feed a family for that money for around two years,” Vane grunted from the couch he was lounging on.

Silver’s eyes shifted to the Ranger’s captain, who was chewing on an apple, an amused smile on the face.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Silver asked, looking back at the man in the tall mirror’s reflection he hardly recognized in this clothing.

“I’m not gonna miss a moment of this. If you think Jack annoying now, you should have seen him yesterday cake testing with Flint,” Vane laughed.

John’s brow went up.

“Cake testing?”

“Mistress Duchamps makes the finest cakes you have ever eaten. Even Flint had to admit that they are quite pleasurable,” Rackham explained and made Silver turn in a circle. “I have to say that this color really brings out your eyes. Very flattering.”

“When I hear you talk like that I’m getting the idea you’d rather marry me,” Silver laughed. “Wait until we get to mess with your wedding when you finally get the courage to ask Anne.”

Jack frowned.

“Anne…we’ve got a different arrangement now, none of your business though.”

Silver understood the implication and did not inquire further. Looking over his own shoulder, he looked back at the mirror, not able to look away. The coat Rackham had picked for him was made of the finest silk, like Rackham had sad, and had the color of a stormy sky, a light blue with the hint of gray, complimenting his eyes indeed, making them seem even more blue and brighter than they had been in years. Rackham had put him into breeches of the same color and had insisted on stockings and shoes, but at least here Silver had put in a veto and demanded to wear a boot, especially since those shoes, as fancy as they might were, would not give him enough stability at a wedding that would take place at a beach, like he had been informed. A white shirt and a vest of the same color as the silver embroidery on the frock rounded the clothing up. He had to admit, he looked stunning in this. If only this was a real wedding and not the farce he had gotten himself into.

“Any idea yet what to do with your hair?” Rackham asked, pulling at one of his curls. “You could cut it.”

“Don’t touch my hair,” Silver said, knowing that the curls were something that Flint liked, even if the captain would never admit that. He found the other man often looking at him and touching the curls when they cascaded down his back when Flint thought he would not notice. “I thought I may tie the top back like I usually do?” Why was he even wasting thoughts about that?

“Hmm,” Rackham made, making Vane roll his eyes. “That is a good look on you. You need to be ravishing, being the bride and all that.”

Silver sputtered.

“The what?”

Vane was barking out laughs by now.

“If you now start with the bullshit that one of us must be the woman in this, I’m going to find you in your sleep and castrate you, with a rusty spoon.”

“I’m just messing with you. And I happen to like my balls to be where they are.”

“So, Flint liked the cake?” Silver inquired.

Rackham was evening out a fold on one sleeve, and answered without looking up: “I’d say so. The moans he let out at the vanilla cake were obscene. I can only assume the sounds he makes in bed.” Rackham frowned. “Is he loud in bed?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but James is not a blushing virgin.”

“I bet he grunts and moans,” Rackham mused.

“Really, Jack?” Silver asked. “Are you wondering how everyone you know is in bed?”

“Mostly, yes.”

Silver shook his head and turned back around, facing again the mirror and sighed.

How much he wished Flint would not see the man in the mirror he hardly recognized himself anymore, the liar, the thief, the manipulator.

He wished Flint would see him for himself, and that he would be able to feel the same way as he did.

* * * * * * * * * *

When Vane was strolling into the common room of Max’ brothel, he saw Flint sitting at one of the table, alone, and reading something. He didn’t make a sound until he pulled out a chair and sat down, making Flint only look up for a moment, before turning a page of the book he was reading and not paying the other captain any attention.

“Your boy is going to kill Jack sooner or later,” Vane remarked. “And I would then have to kill him, I’ve grown quite fond of Jack’s company.”

Now Flint looked up.

“You and Rackham? Really?”

“What are you talking about? I only said I’m fond of his company, not everyone like to shag a bloke like you do.”

Flint was deep in thought for a second.

“Can I ask you something, Charles?” He started and continued when Vane nodded. “Do you have no problem with Silver and me, with two men being together like this?”

Vane raised his brows.

“Why would I? Because one or both of you likes it up the ass? Honestly, I’m thanking every pagan God or Goddess that neither of the two of you will procreate, as long as you don’t manage to knock Silver up.”

“I doubt that will happen.”

“It was not good for you in the past, was it? Being like this?”

Flint looked at the book, touching the leather binding.

“No, it was not. The world that I come from does not accept men like me. We are mocked, tortured, killed.”

“Like pirates.”

“Like pirates.”

Vane watched Flint reading a while, and then asked: “Have you fucked him?”

Flint let the book drop on the table.

“Beg pardon?”

“I asked if you have fucked him. Or he you for the matter.”

“What kind of question is that? We’re getting married.”

“European ladies go into marriage virgins. No idea why that is a good idea, not trying out the wares before purchase, but it’s like that, isn’t it?”

“Neither me nor John are European ladies, I can assure you. You’re hanging out with Rackham too much, you’re showing some of his traits already.”

“I like Jack, not that I would ever admit that when he’s around. He’s annoying. But he’s a good pirate, a good man. A good friend.” Vane continued. Can I ask you something now?”

“Can I stop you?”

“Probably not,” Vane grinned, but grew serious again. “Being in love. What is that like?”

Flint was surprised at that question and blinked a few times.

“It’s the best and the worst of feelings. It makes you lose yourself completely and it makes you feel like you found something you never before thought you were missing,” he started. “It’s like finding a best friend, and then something more. It’s like a powerful drug you cannot get enough of even when you know it’s not good for you. It’s highly rare, strong, and impossible to keep, and you are scared of the moment you will lose it.”

“You lost before,” Vane stated, understanding the hint Flint had given.

“I have. I have loved and lost. I met a man in England, in the old life. I loved him and he loved me, but we were separated and he took his life,” he said, thinking of the gently and intelligent blond man that had taught him to be himself. “Everyone I love dies because of me. First Thomas, then Miranda. I cannot lose him too.”

Vane smiled.

“You really love him.”

Flint looked up, not having noticed his own words nor the thoughts that had prompted those.

Fuck. Oh fuck.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Silver had spent hours sitting on a rock close to their makeshift camp at the beach, deep in thought until he came to a decision.

His heart heavy, he made his way back to the camp, only a few minutes of walk but feeling like an eternity to him. Flint’s tent was at the center, and he closed his eyes, collecting his thoughts and emotions before stepping in. Flint was sitting on the cod on the floor, holding a letter in his hands, and Silver froze, his heart thumping loudly.

“Rogers demands to meet with me in a few days. It’s the day after our…wedding,” Flint said without looking up. “I assumed he will have me arrested, killed, or is trying to manipulate his way into a treaty.”

“Will you go and meet him?”

“I will. But not alone. I am going to write a letter to him, and I will not go to the meeting point without an escort. I want you to come. Billy, Ben, Joji. I will ask Rackham, Vane and Bonny too if they will join us. I want to appear as strong as we can.”

“You want to intimidate him.”

“I never met him. I have no idea if I can outsmart him with words, so I need to prepare for the case he is as good a tactician as he is supposed to be.”

Silver nodded.

“I will inform the others to go with you,” he started and Flint now looked up, an unspoken question on his face, sensing what Silver was implying with those words. “I though, I will not be there.”

“I don’t understand,” Flint said.

“I am not going with you there. For one, it is your certain death, and I’m not willing to witness that, and then, I will not be on Nassau anymore by then.”

Flint turned to face Silver.

“This wedding, this marriage commitment I tricked you in, I can’t go through with it, I’m sorry. The only way for you to get out of this, is when I vanish. It will look like I cheated on you and dumped you, ran away with a wench I’m going to pay to make it look like that. I…I’m sorry, James. I hope you will find happiness one day. Stay safe.”

Silver turned and only the rustling of clothes behind him indicated that Flint had stood up. A firm hand grabbed his shoulder and made him turn around, facing Flint again.

“Our friends, our family, is preparing our wedding. The effort they put into this is without limits. And you are dropping this after you initiated it? Why?”

Silver looked at Flint’s collarbone that was visible, and the collection of dusty freckles on the skin. Tears welled up in his eyes and he shook his head, wishing them to go away, to not be weak now of all times.

“Tell me why?”

“Because I can’t do this to you, James,” he said. “I once told you a story about a boy I knew in the orphanage.”

“Solomon Little, yes.”

“My name is Solomon Little. I never knew my parents. I ran from the orphanage when I was still a boy and I became a thief and conman. I became John Silver, a sailor, because I had to run from England because I got into a mess with the wrong people. As long as I can think, lies were what kept me alive, what got me out of trouble.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Flint asked, his hand still on Silver’s shoulder.

“Because I want you to know, that this time I am getting us both out of this mess by telling the truth. I’m done with lying, James. I’m done with being someone I am not.” Stupid tears, stupid emotions. Flint’s eyes, today they seemed to be blue, stared a hole into his own set of eyes. “You are not only a good man, James. You are the best. You are filled with passion, with loyalty, with truthfulness. Despite everything life has put you through, the pain and the losses, you are still strong and good and, goddammit James, I love you, but you deserve someone _you_ can love. You deserve to enter a matelotage or marriage with someone good, who you want to spend your life with. There is…”

“I love you,” Flint interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

Silence filled the tent. Both men only looking at each other.

“What?” Silver whispered then.

His ears must have been playing tricks on him. The words he thought he heard could not have left Flint's mouth, even when it had sounded like his voice.

“You annoy me to no limits. You irritate and upset and anger me all the time. But I love you.”

“You…love me.”

Flint smiled.

“I do. And I want to get married to you.”

Silver only nodded, and he held his eyes open when Flint took his face into his hands and pressed his lips to Silver’s.

It was not the same as when Flint had kissed him after their announcement. This time, he opened his lips for Flint and welcomed his exploring tongue into his mouth, making him shiver and moan, being pulled close and feeling the muscles under Flint’s shirt when he was clinging to him.

This was real.

This was the truth.

Someone loved him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding!

Silver leaned on his crutch, swallowing, nervousness creeping up inside him, making him slightly tremble and making him wish he could just run away like he had done so many, many times before. Ben at his side looked at him with worry.

“You okay?” His friend asked.

“Not sure about that. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Ben smiled kindly, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You’ll do this. You will get married and live happily with Flint at your side. It was meant this way.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so. And now let’s go, it’s time, they are waiting for us,” Ben continued encouragingly and lead Silver down the steps towards the beach, Silver unsteady on his foot and leaning heavily on crutch and his friend, minding the peg leg and every step he made.

When he looked up when they rounded the corner to the place they were intended to go, Silver held his breath.

The whole beach was illuminated by hundreds of torches and candles, building a pathway to a spot where people were waiting for them, for him. Several dozen of people were waiting for him to go and the amount of people made him even more insecure. At the end of the path, three men were standing, waiting as well. He could make out the towering figure of Billy and smiled a little at that. So like Ben was his best man, Flint had chosen Billy, which surprised him und gladdened him. He assumed one of the other was Flint, it had to be, but the third remained a miracle in the shadows and still too far away.

Ben was leading him down the path and he made out faces of crew members, of people from Nassau, of men and women he had come to call friends. Max sat with Anne. Idelle sat with Featherstone, holding his hand. Vane was sitting next to Rackham, who beamed, while Vane was smiling almost kindly and had an arm draped over the back of Rackham’s chair. Silver couldn’t stop smiling when he made out his whole crew, and then he looked up and gasped when he saw Flint. He had always thought his intended was a handsome man, but tonight he was breathtaking. Rackham had dressed him too, but not in a coat as fancy as the embroidered one he was wearing. Flint was wearing his customary black, but the frock coat was brandnew and fit him like a second skin of silk, getting closer he saw that it too was embroidered, but in the same color as the cloth was and only shimmering in the light. Black breeches and polished black boots completed the ensemble with the white frilly shirt and a white cravat that was decorated with a pin centered with an emerald. Silver grinned, proud that this man was his alone. Flint reached out for him and entwined their fingers, while Silver gave Billy, who was standing behind Silver a nod of acknowledgement, happy his friend had come to his senses and would witness their union. Flint and he shared a smile when someone next to him harrumphed and he paid attention to the man standing there, obviously to officiate their wedding, and he froze.

Towering in height and width, broadshouldered and impressive with his long black hair and beard, clad in the finest dark frock he owned, Edward Teach was standing there, the weight on one foot, a wide smile on the face.

“Let’s do this,” he said loudly, so that even the last person on the beach would pay him attention. “We have come here together on this fine day to bind two men in an eternal union, for they have chosen to pledge their love and their hand in marriage.” Teach showed one of his rare kind smiles. “Some people never find their other half, some try too often and fail cruelly, just look at me. Some people find their other half without planning to, with having spent years of living next to the one meant for them, with having become friends and family to each other. This is what happened for these two. For years, they have fought battles side by side. For years, they have shared their meals and water. For years, they have become inseparable until nobody knew if a Captain Flint ever existed without a John Silver. A union. One being made of two bodies, two minds that work so well together that one cannot exist anymore without the other. It is no wonder or surprise that their hearts finally knew the truth before their minds did and they took the courage and faith to confess their love for each other that goes beyond everything they ever expected to find with the other.” He nodded at them, still smiling, proud and gentle. “I am honored that I have been asked to join you together in a bond no man will ever to break following the vows you will give each other.”

Flint squeezed Silver’s hand when Teach nodded at Silver, prompting him to start. He swallowed, scared to open himself and his emotions like this, something he had always tried to avoid. With a hesitant and almost shy smile, he looked up at the handsome man in front of him, whose face seemed robbed of years, who looked soft and gentle, and not like the man he had seen in battle and seen kill men in cold blood. The green-blue eyes dark in the light of the candles and fires, the beard as ginger as always and cut shorter.

"I never thought I would find a love like this, never in my life did I dare to think that I would find you. Love is a word that is much too weak and used far too often to ever describe this fierce, endless and burning passion that I have in my heart for you. I," he hesitated a second before he continued. "Solomon Little, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, with our family and friends as witness, take you, James McGraw, to my hand, my heart and my spirit, to be my chosen one, my husband. To desire you and be desired by you, to possess you and be possessed by you. Without shame," Flint's eyes grew wider for a second, tears forming in them. "For it cannot exist in the purity of my love for you. I promise to love you wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change you in any way. I shall respect you, your beliefs, your people and your ways as I respect myself. I shall speak nothing but the truth to you, for I want to know nothing but the truth from you. I vow to love you through storms and dead calms, for I will be your topsail and your anchor. I will be your home as you are mine. Forever, until kingdom come."

Tears were streaming down both their faces, Silver’s voice carrying itself strong but with the sound of sobs and the insecurity of the young man he truly was.

Flint’s smile seemed helpless and happy. A heavy weight being taken from his shoulders, but tensing up when Teach directed a nod at him.

“The Greek philosopher Plato mentions in his Symposium that humans were originally created with two head, four legs, four arms. Fearing their power, Zeus tore them apart, making them search for the other half that would complete them. I have searched my whole life for that other half, for that other soul that fills the emptiness inside me. And I have found it when I had given up hope to ever find that half again,” he started. “I have found that half in you. You complete me in ways I never thought possible. You anger me and upset me and annoy me to no limits, but you also make me smile and worry and love you. You made me happy when happiness had no longer be an option. In a world that not allows a love like ours by the common law, you taught me that we only need the law of our people to become one.” Silver blinked more tears away, a feeling of warmth in his belly. “I, James McGraw, choose you, Solomon Little, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what things I will discover. I will respect you as a person, a partner, and as an equal. There is little to say that you haven’t already heard, and little to give that is not already freely given. Before the knowledge of our love surfaced, I was yours already and I am devoted to you in every way. I marry you with no hesitation or doubt, and my commitment to you is absolute. I choose you to stand by your side and sleep with my arms wrapped around you. May we have many adventures and grow old together. I do pledge you my love, for as long as I live. What I possess in this world, I give to you. I will keep you and hold you, comfort and tend you, protect you and shelter you, for all the days of my life. I take you as my husband until eternity.”

Even Teach had to swallow, no sound to be heard on the beach but far cries of seagulls and the wind in the palm trees and the breaking of the waves. Both Silver and Flint showed smiles on tearstruck faces.

“May the wind be always at your back, may the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields. May the light of friendship guide your paths together, may the joy of living for each other bring a smile to your lips, a twinkle to your eye. And when eternity beckons, at the end of the life heaped high with love, may the good Lord embrace you with the arms that have nurtured you the whole length of your joy-filled days. May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace. May your troubles grow few as your blessings grow more. May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. May your hands be forever clasped in friendship and your hearts joined forever in the deepest love. Your lives are very special, God has touched you in many ways. May his blessings rest upon you and fill all your coming days. May the gracious God hold you both in the palm of His hands. And, today, may the Spirit of Love find a dwelling place in your hearts.”

Silver was trying to blink tears away as they were a sign of weakness, but then Flint held his hand tightly and stroked its back with his thumb, showing him

“Do you, James McGraw, known to us as James Flint, take this man to be your husband, to be his loyal friend, his partner in life and business, and his true love? To love him without shame, honor and respect him, protect him from harm, comfort him in times of distress, to be faithful to only him as long as you both shall live?”

“And into the next life, I do,” Flint said without a moment of hesitation. He pushed a ring onto Silver’s ring finger, fitting him perfectly. Silver looked at the wedding band he had not been allowed to see before. An almost simple band that would never be a hinderness, smoothly fitting his finger. It was a band of rose gold, with a center of silver. John smiled, understanding instantly the meaning of the ring. Silver for his name, red gold for the ginger captain, the both of them being united.

Teach smiled lopsided and turned to Silver.

“Do you, Solomon Little, known to us as John Silver, take this man to be your husband, to be his loyal friend, his partner in life and business, and his true love? To love him without shame, honor and respect him, protect him from harm, comfort him in times of distress, to be faithful to only him as long as you both…”

“I do,” Silver interrupted him, making all present men and women chuckle and giggle. He blushed a little but couldn’t help but smile at the expression of warmth and love in James’ eyes, the soft smile on his lips. He took the ring Ben was handing him, the same as the one he was now wearing and never going to take off again, and put it on James’ finger.

“Since someone seems to be in a hurry we cut this short then. I hereby declare you as wedded husbands under the laws of the brethren of Nassau. You may kiss…” It was Flint who pulled Silver into a consuming kiss. “Oh goddammit,” Teach muttered and threw his hands in the air as a sign he was giving up, while the people present, their family and friends erupted in happy cheers, applause, whistles.

Flint and Silver both smiled into the kiss, the bodies pressed together, hands on each other’s backs, one of Flint’s hands around the back of Silver’s neck, holding him close as if he wanted to never let him go again, and Silver for once was certain that this man truly loved him and wanted him for himself.

They were married.

They were one.

Silver was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cheated on the vows. Some parts of those are taken from celtic wedding and handfasting vows.
> 
> The rings Flint and Silver exchange look something like these (which are mine LOL)  
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EGC2OrfX0AU8dwB?format=jpg&name=small


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we reach a change to explicit!

Rackham started to sing another shanty that he had heard, according to himself, from a Spanish sailor and that, as far as Silver’s knowledge of the Spanish language was concerned, wrong. Just wrong. Still entertaining, but wrong.

He was standing next to a palm tree, watching the festivities that were going on for hours already. Flint was in a deep conversation with Teach, who seemed to be a nice man. Impressive, demanding and somewhat friendly, someone he could imagine on counting among friends. Not that he would ever inquire about friendship with Blackbeard. After all, he was a deadly force to reckon with and he did in no way underestimate the older man.

“He looks happy,” Ben said next to him.

“I hope he is,” he smiled.

“And you?”

“I am.”

Ben shoved him a little with one shoulder so that he looked at him. The sailor had his freshly washed hair that was surprisingly blond in this state, pulled back into a ponytail and was dressed in a clean and nice suit that gave him the impression that Ben had taken part of his prize and gotten himself something new to dress in for this occasion. He needed to remember to try and trick Ben into accepting him to pay for this. Anyway, he had to admit that Ben looked almost pretty in the dark blue coat and the open white shirt underneath that gave way to his toned and tanned skin. He wore his mother’s rosary as jewelry instead of the necklaces he usually wore, and his rings were polished. The effort he had made to look like this for his wedding, it touched Silver.

“What are you looking at?”

Silver grinned.

“If Billy doesn’t notice you tonight, we need to get him glasses.”

“What do you mean?” Ben asked, looking down at himself. “Is something wrong with…”

“You look handsome tonight, that is all. Billy would be an idiot to not notice that.”

“I don’t care what William Manderly does or thinks,” Ben huffed, using Billy’s real name as as sign that he tried to distance himself from the men of his desires.

“I think you do.” He pointed Ben into the direction where Billy was talking to Featherstone and DeGroot. “He looks very handsome tonight too.”

“Hmm,” Ben made. “I don’t care.”

“Do you need to open your eyes too, Benjamin?”

“My eyes are wide open. I’m just done with pining over someone who does not want to even consider seeing me like this. I deserve better.”

Silver nodded.

“I know you do. But I also know that Billy is not blind, he’s only scared of hurt.”

“I would never…”

“I know that. You know that. Now you only need to convince him too. Make him see yourself. Make him jealous.”

“Jealous,” Ben said toneless.

“Flirt with someone else, make him see that others want you. Maybe he will realize then that he doesn’t want to see you with anyone else.”

Ben sighed.

“Get happy, you and Flint. Cherish what you have.”

“I will. And now go, court your giant.”

Ben laughed and went into the crowd, making his way over to the area where Billy was without approaching him directly.

“Giving love advice already?”

Silver smiled and leaned back into his husband’s chest who had approached him from behind. Flint pressed a kiss to his ear and leaned his chin on his shoulder.

“What did you tell him?”

“To try and make Billy jealous.”

Flint giggled. Giggled?

“Seems he already listened to your advice.”

Silver raised a brow and tried to make out Ben in the crowd of people, and finally found him whispering something into the ear of one of Max’ wenches and made her laugh loudly, while grinning himself.

“And it seems to work.”

Billy glared and took another large gulp of the drink he was nursing, the eyes fixated on Ben and the girl, frowning and looking more and more angry with every passing second. Then Billy said something to the two men he was standing with, and made his way into the crowd himself and pulled Ben rudely away from the girl. To anyone not knowing the both of them, it looked like Billy was trying to protect the girl from an unwelcome suitor, but to Flint and Silver it looked like Billy was finally staking his claim on Ben. But then some yelling on Ben’s behalf followed after Billy had said something, and then the sailor gave the bosun a powerful shove and stomped away, leaving behind a confused looking Billy.

“Should I?”

“No. Let them deal with this alone. They are grown men.”

Silver nodded.

“I’ve come to fetch to,” Flint said into his ear, his warm breath on his skin a promise.

“Fetch me?”

“Hmm, I want to show you something. Let’s go for a walk.”

Silver nodded and accepted Flint’s hand on the small of his back, leading him into the direction he wanted to go with him.

Their way brought them down the beach and Flint was attentive to Silver’s only slow progress through the sand, one hand first at his arm and then finally taking his hand into his. Silver smiled. Never before had he known of two men walking hand in hand down a beach, yet alone a man like Flint, who was so masculine and strong, and still so sensitive and with a side that was soft. A side though he rarely let others see.

“This was a good day,” Flint said. “I never thought a day like this possible.”

“Because you got married to me?”

Flint let out a small laugh. The voices, music and chatter of the festivities grew more and more silent until it was only a faint murmur.

“Because I got married at all. Men like me…”

Silver stopped him and pulled him down into a kiss.

“Men like us deserve to be happy, James. And you make me happy.”

“I hope I will make you happy. I hope we both can be happy and find peace.”

They smiled at each other until Silver took in their surroundings, a brow raised.

“Where have you brought me?” He grinned. “To a secluded beach to ravish me?”

Flint took off his cravat and put it into the pocket of his frock coat.

“When I ravish you, then on a bed of finest linen.”

“Is that so?” Silver asked, Flint nodded. “A bed of finest linen?” Flint nodded.

“Come,” Flint said, taking again Silver’s hand and leading him onto a small path that lead away from the beach.

After only a few steps, they reached a white fence that looked like someone had put fresh paint on his recently. Behind it was a small cottage, white as well. A porch surrounded is, on the top floor a large window was open and leading onto a balcony that was facing them. Silver imagined that you must be able to see the ocean from there. Two lanterns were lit on the porch, another lantern stood in the window at the balcony.

“Who lives here?” Silver asked, the voice hushed.

Flint went to face Silver, taking both his hands in his after having taken the crutch from him, Silver relying on leaning part of his weight on him, trusting his husband.

“We do.”

Silver suddenly did not trust what he thought he heard.

“Beg pardon?”

“We do. It is ours.”

Silver went to look again at the house that was so pretty and neat.

“When? How?”

“I owned it for a while already. The owners were an elderly couple who both passed two years ago, I bought it for a low price on a hunch. I don’t even know what I was thinking. I didn’t see myself in it, maybe I thought I would sell it or give it to someone. Maybe I craved a home myself, I don’t know,” he explained, looking at the cottage himself. “It is ours if you like it.”

Silver grabbed him and started to kiss him without a word. Probing kisses that soon got more and more intense until Flint pulled him close and lifted him off the floor as if he was not weighing anything.

The soft stubble of Flint’s hair under his hands, Silver drank his scent, got drunk on his taste and the touch of his hands that supported his ass until he wrapped both legs around Flint.

“You said something about finest linen. I suppose you had that taken care of?”

Flint grinned into the kiss and heat filled Silver’s body even more.

“Take me to bed, James,” Silver said, and Flint, James, complied without a word, carrying his husband through the gate, the small front yard and up the three stairs that lead to the door of their home.

Inside, Silver had no eyes for the furniture that James had brought into the house, simple things that would make his a home in no time, for when they left piracy and the Walrus behind and would be not captain and quartermaster, but James and John. He only had eyes for the man who swiftly carried him upstairs and finally dropped him onto a wide bed that was surprisingly soft and covered with many pillows.

Silver looked up panting and with a smile, watching how Flint shrugged out of his coat and pulled the shirt over his head. How gorgeous the man who was his was, all slightly tanned skin over hard muscle and painted with a freckled all over. Something told Silver that Flint was conscious about how he looked, and he tried to smile with as much praise and encouragement he could manage without using words.

He sat up himself and got out of his own clothing, throwing the fancy cloth on the floor and let his shirt and cravat follow, holding his breath, when Flint went to his knees between his legs. But then Flint surprised him. When he expected Flint, who opened his breeches and pulled them down without hesitation, to pay attention to his hardening cock, the captain did not. Instead he pulled the boot off Silver’s foot and got the healthy leg out of the pant, smiling at the pink sock that Silver was wearing.

“You wore those when we met.”

“Well not the same one, but ones like that, yeah,” Silver laughed. “You remember.”

“Who could forget an obnoxious little shit who wears pink socks?”

Silver stopped breathing and tensed up when Flint pulled his pants further down and over his peg leg.

“Don’t...,” he whispered breathlessly.

“Let me, John. It is not the first time I see it.”

“It is the first time like this, it’s not…it’s not pretty.”

“I know,” James said and pulled the sleeve of the peg leg, loosening it and exposing the skin on John’s stump, that piece of him he was so ashamed of.

He turned his head shameful to the side and then looked back down, when James places a soft kiss to the always red skin of the spot where he one had a leg. Ghosting over the skin with his fingertips, James cherished this part of John the same he planned to cherish every other part, and John’s heart swell in his chest, touched and unknown emotion filling him.

James’ lips found their way up his knee and thigh, nibbled at John’s hipbone and avoided getting in touch with that piece of him John wanted him to touch the most, and instead he kissed his way up his flat stomach, the smooth chest to let his tongue flick against one hardened nipple and making John let out a moan. As soon as kissing and sucking lips had made the nipple hard as a pebble, he paid attention to its twin until John was moaning his name. Farther up, he kissed John’s collarbones and licked his arched neck until his lips met the soft hair of his beard. He hovered over his lips, only breath on breath instead of skin on skin, until John pulled him down and kissed him again.

His hands found the edge of James’ trousers and he shoved at them until James got his intent and sat up for much too long seconds to get rid of the only piece of cloth separating them. When their skin touched, totally bare for the first time, both men shivered and moaned into the kiss they shared.

Soon their bodies were glistening with sweat, rolling around on expensive linen sheets in an entanglement of limbs. The only sounds filling the room their moans and whimpers, little words of encouragement and tenderness. James found John’s neck to be overly sensitive and found pleasure in biting his skin, leaving little marks in the tanned flesh that would surely bruise, and they both did not mind, not able to feel bad about something they both enjoyed so much. John found that there was a small spot on the small of James’ back that when he stroked that spot with the tips of his fingers drove James crazy with lust. Within minutes they had found out more about each other than either had ever known with anyformer lover.

When James’ long fingers found the small opening behind John’s drawn up balls, the younger man almost screamed at the mere touch before anything had entered him. He bent himself almost in half, urging James to do something, to do more and James gladly complied with pressing a fingertip inside him. Slowly he let his finger glide deeper, wet with his previously applied spit, and finally finding that spot inside John that now made him scream out his name, the back arched and the eyes squeezed shut, fearing that he would come before anything more could happen, and he wanted nothing more than to find his climax with James buried deep inside him, never having known that he desired another man.

Finally, James reached over John’s side and grabbed a small bottle from the nightstand, being watched by John who was chewing on his lips, obviously nervous.

“I will never hurt you, nor you me,” James said, pressing a kiss to the tip of John’s nose.

“You want me to…?”

“Of course. This is for us both, John. If you don’t like anything, if you don’t want anything, I want you to tell me. I know the things I liked in my old life, but I don’t know what I will like now, and I will tell you as well. I want us both to find happiness also in the flesh with each other. And now, tell me what you want, John.”

John smiled at the considerateness his husband showed and nodded slowly, cupping James’ cheek with his hand, the palm being kissed immediately.

“I want you to take me. I want nothing more than you to take me apart.”

James’ smile was soft and sweet, a kiss sealing the agreement they found with each other.

James prepared John agonizingly slow until his husband whimpered and begged him helplessly to just take him and stop bothering, but James shut him up with another kiss and then, again so slow that John thought he was going to not make it any longer, entered him with his hard and throbbing cock.

The stretch was for a moment painful but oh-so-delicious. John’s eyes rolled back, while James held still, wanting John to accommodate to the stretch, remembering how the first time all these years ago had felt for him, and himself to not come instantly, trying to collect his senses. Only when John pulled him even closer and embraced him not only with his arms but also his legs, digging his heel into James’ thigh, he started moving. At first as slow as he could master, but with each passing second, with each passing thrust faster, harder, deeper. The sounds they made and the slapping of wet flesh against wet flesh left no doubt about the passion between them.

“James...I can’t...can’t hold out much longer...gotta...gotta come...God, James,” John half whispered, half screamed, the voice rough, not able to control his over-flooding senses anymore.

Placing wet kisses onto his ear, James gave back: “Then come, my love. Come for me. Come, my sweet love. Come on my cock.”

It had been long ago that James allowed himself to even use this only slightly dirty talk, but it turned him on and from the erotic reaction he got from John, it had the same effect on his lover, his husband.

With another deep thrust, placed right against the sweet spot inside of him, John came without James ever having touched his cock, spilling his hot seed on his belly, panting, screaming, holding onto James for dear life.

Only seconds after him, James followed over the edge and filled him, resting his head finally on John’s shoulder, the movements slowly ebbing away while John caressed his sweaty head, both not able to completely comprehend what was happening between them.

James finally looked up into the face of the younger man that had made him feel alive, maybe for the first time in his life. He smiled at the sudden realization that he could never let his end, could never let him go, and looking into John’s gorgeous eyes that looked at him in wonder, he knew John felt it too. And knowing he was married to the wonder in his arms, he knew he would have to give him up.

Hours later, James held John after a second round in which John had taken him, in his arms, the nose buried in the wet curls, while John’s fingertip followed the starbursts of the freckles on his chest.

“I always dreamed of one day knowing every constellation of your freckles,” John said, then tilting the head to look up at his husband.

“They are…,” James started, self-conscious about his red hair, pale skin and freckles like he had been when he had been a boy who was mocked for all that, but John interrupted his thought.

“They are beautiful. As are you. I love you.”

“And I love you,” James replied, leaning down for another slow and intense kiss, still not quite believing that they would share this for the rest of their lives.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end has come. Please don't hate me!
> 
> Thank you all for going this way with me, for the sweet and encouraging comments. Thank you for allowing me to be part of this amazing fandom!

Silver stretched his limbs like a lazy cat, blinking into the much too bright morning light that flooded the bedroom, and only slowly the happening of last night came back to his conscience, and he smiled. James’ calloused hands on his body, they exploring the closeness of the other, touching, scenting, tasting.

Never before had he felt like that. This completed, this fulfilled. He for sure had great sex in the past, but never had he experienced an intimacy like this. He had never before wanted to sleep in anyone’s arms, but sleeping in James’ arms felt like something he would want for the rest of his life. His head leaned against the freckled shoulder, James’ nose and lips buried in his wild curls, his breath on his skin, a hand that held him so firmly close that he was sure it would never let him go again.

Opening his eyes, he though found the bed next to him empty, the sheets cold. Frowning he got up to his elbows, and found James standing in the doorway, looking at him with a soft smile.

“Good morning,” Flint said.

Silver returned his smile.

“Good morning to you too. Why are you up?”

“I’ve been watching you sleep.”

“Could’ve done that while being in bed with me,” Silver said, lying back down and patting the bed next to himself. “Come back here.”

Flint laughed shortly and returned to the soft pillow clad bed, pulling his husband into his arms and covering his face with small kisses until their lips met and the kiss soon grew more heated, leaving them both breathless when their tongues danced around each other, teeth clicking and both men felt a fluttering feeling in their loins.

“As much as I would love to continue this, we need to get up,” Flint said between two kisses, while Silver was hooking his right leg around his hips, pulling him closer. “Besides, I’m not young enough to do this all over again, you know?”

Silver grinned and pressed his hips into the growing hardness of Flint’s cock that pressed into his stomach.

“Are you sure about that, captain?”

“We have a meeting to attend.”

Silver frowned.

“Not this early.”

“I want to meet with Teach and Vane before we leave and discuss a plan. We don’t know what they want from us.”

“Nothing good, that much is certain.”

Flint escaped from Silver’s embrace, making Silver huff in resignation.

“There goes romance. Not even married for a day and you already don’t love me anymore,” he complained playfully.

Flint grinned over his shoulder, sitting at the edge of the bed and getting into his pants. Silver could not resist to trace the freckles he inspected with a fingertip, smiling at his husband’s back.

“I can assure you, I will never stop loving you.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Ben sat crosslegged on his cot, watching the sleeping man in front of him. He always had found Billy to be beautiful but his features softened by sleep, ripped of his tension and the burden he always seemed to carry, he was nothing less but breathtaking. He slowly caressed Billy’s naked leg with one hand, stopping at the hip and then leaned down and pressed a kiss to the small scar he had there. He intended to get to know every scar on the other man’s body, get to know the story behind every one of them.

Billy mumbled something in his sleep, slowly coming back from his dream, his eyes still unfocussed when he opened them and looking at the tent above him. A frown appeared between his brows when he realized this was not his own tent, and fear crept up in Ben who suddenly became aware that Billy had been drunk, too drunk. That he would not remember what happened last night between them.

“Billy, I can explain,” he said, sitting up and covering himself with the blanket, noticing that by covering himself he had unclad Billy and putting it back onto him, touching this manhood through it and winced at his clumsiness.

“Explain why your cat is sitting there judging me?” Billy asked, pointing at Betsy who was sitting next to Billy’s foot glaring at the intruder. “Has she watched us last night too?”

“What?” Ben asked confused. “You’re not upset?”

Billy took Ben’s hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it, and smiled when Ben blushed a little.

“Why would I be upset?”

“Uhm…we both had a little too drink, and I thought, well, I assumed that you may not be good with what we did.”

“I’m very good with what we did. Very, very good.” Billy whispered and pulled Ben to lay down on top of him, holding him close. “Maybe I needed a little drink to finally open my bloody, fucking idiot eyes.”

“Maybe. How are you feeling about this now that you’re sober?”

“Still very, very good.”

“That’s good.”

“It is. It really is.”

One of Billy’s large hands found Ben’s blond waves, and he pulled the smaller man down into a searing kiss, both smiling, and finally forgetting the pain they always carried with them.

* * * * * * * * * *

Woodes Rogers was a man that did not impress either of them, neither by the clothes he wore, nor by his appearance.

He was waiting for them to land on shore, sitting under a canopy set up, at a desk that was having another, now empty, chair opposite him, obviously intended for Flint, who noticed how his husband, who was standing at his side, trying to keep his balance, grew nervous by the minute.

“I don’t like this,” Silver whispered.

“I don’t think that anyone of us likes this, but we need to hear him out.”

“You want to get to know him, get inside his head and see how he functions.”

Flint nodded and smiled at the man that he married only yesterday.

“You do know me well.”

“I would seem so.”

“Can you two stop flirting? Watching you is unbearable,” Billy, who was sitting behind them in the rowboat, said.

“You’re only jealous,” Silver said with a wink.

“As if.”

“He has no reason to be jealous,” Ben said, smiling, and making Silver and Flint both raise their brows.

“What…?” Silver started.

“Later,” Billy said, and pulled the rows once more.

Billy and Ben who had been rowing this boat, while Vane, Anne, Rackham and Teach who had insisted on joining them, were in a second one a third with some trusted crewmen close behind, landed the boat on the shore. Flint jumped out and held a hand out for Silver to follow, knowing that his leg would make a graceful jump impossible for him. He could not allow themselves a sign of weakness, and Silver did indeed not show any pain or signs of discomfort when he hit ground next to Flint, the sea water gushing around them. They held their hands connected for a moment, looking at each other, waiting for the second and third boat to come ashore as well. They would appear as a unit, as if nothing would or could put a strain on the bond these pirates had with each other.

“Mister McGraw,” Rogers said without giving his opponent the courtesy of rising from his seat when they approached the table, Silver at Flint’s side. “How nice to follow my invitation.”

Without being prompted, Flint took the empty chair and sat down, his allies keeping a little distance to keep their eyes on the general surroundings, ready to intervene in necessary.

“I have received word from England to offer you pardons,” Rogers said without preamble. “I was hoping to talk to you about building a business relationship.”

Flint frowned.

“You want us to work for you?”

“The Spanish in this area are a nuisance to his majesty’s fleet. We hold the best chances to defeat them if we join forces. It means many prizes for you and your men.”

“With a large share for you and England, I presume.”

“Pardons don’t come at no price.”

“It is a price we are not willing to pay.”

“Someone else intended to petition for pardoning the pirates of Nassau, years ago.”

Flint glared at Rogers, who smirked.

“Lord Thomas Hamilton. I understand you did know him?”

Flint nodded, an unwell feeling inside him, while Silver who was standing right behind him paled at the mention of that name.

“Miss Guthrie tells me you were part of the first effort with Lord Hamilton and Peter Ashe to introduce the pardon to Nassau. As with most things, the men first into the breach bear the heaviest casualties. But in the hindsight of victory, they were the ones whose sacrifice made it possible. Without Lord Hamilton's efforts, your efforts, it's likely I wouldn't have been successful in my efforts to finally secure the pardon. All I have done here is finish what you began. The pardons are on the table.” Rogers pointed to a stack of papers. “No one is being hanged. No one's even being tried. They've all been forgiven, just as you wanted. Just as Thomas Hamilton wanted. So what is it that you're fighting for that I'm not already offering?”

“Thomas died fighting for those pardons to happen. His wife and I went to Charles Town to argue for the pardons, to make peace with England, and she died for it as well. England has shown herself to me. Gnarled and gray... and spiteful of anyone who would find happiness under her rule. I'm through seeking anything from England except her departure from my island.” Flint began. “I have found what I was looking for all my life. I am not allowing England to take all this away from us again.”

“I want peace, Mister McGraw,” Rogers continued. “Nothing but peace. It is you who betrays what Lord Hamilton wished to become reality.”

“You want peace and a fleet of pirates at your beckon and call. If you insist upon making me your villain, I’ll play that part. We do not accept your pardon,” Flint started to get up.

“From this moment on, any man participating in the act of high seas piracy will be presumed to be an enemy of the state. I will hunt them. I will catch them. And I will see them hanged. You have one last chance, Mister McGraw.”

Flint went to stand beside Silver, who still looked at the privateer who was sitting at the table.

“My name is Flint.”

“Very well. Consider yourself a hunted man, Captain Flint. This is a declaration of war.”

Flint looked from the corner of his eyes at Silver, noticing how his husband was tense, then looked up and looked into the faces of his allies and seeing there that he had made the right decision on their behalf. Teach gave him a nod, Rackham had taken a casual posture next to Vane who had written bloody murder into his eyes. Anne had both her hands on her daggers, ready to fight anyone in her way.

“Let’s go home,” Flint said, making a step.

“Mister Silver,” Rogers said, making him and Silver stop in their movement. "Or should I call you Mister Flint too? I’m not aware if you changed your name with marrying your captain.”

“Silver will do fine,” he said, his eyes not leaving the privateer, not trusting the plans of the man.

“I heard you received a dispatch a few weeks ago. From a mutual friend in Savannah you contacted, inquiring for information.”

Silver froze, his eyes widening a little. Even without looking at him, he sensed how Flint looked at him.

“And if I did?”

“What is this about, John?” Flint asked.

“Oh, your husband did not tell you what he did? That is not very considerate of you, Mister Silver, not telling your intended about Thomas Hamilton even though there is some history connecting them. There must have been a reason you sent that inquiry in the first place.”

“John?”

Ben made a step forward, getting ready to defend Silver, noticing how something in Flint shifted.

Silver turned to face Flint, he shook his head.

“James. Forgive me,” was all he could say before being interrupted.

“James.”

It was a soft voice that interrupted him before he could explain anything to James, before he could fight for his love and keep what had just become his.

A soft voice with a posh British accent that made Flint grow pale, the eyes nothing but pupils, the face turning from confusion into a mask of rage. While Flint turned around, Silver looked up, looking at a man he had never seen before, dressed in a dark green coat.

Without knowing, he _knew_ who the man was. The short blond hair, the handsome face that showed only little traces of his age, the eyes brilliant blue and kind. He was the man he had been jealous of for months, that he envied of the love he received even after years.

The man he had betrayed of his chance of being reunited with the one they both loved.

“Thomas?” James whispered.

The next moment a gun was pointing at Silver’s head, drawn by his own husband.

The man he had betrayed and lied to once too often.

The man who pulled the trigger.

The End......?

**P R E V I E W**

**\- T H E P I R A T E S ' K I N G -**

** **

After having his heart torn out once again, Flint is the most dangerous enemy the pirates of Nassau could have.

When painful losses strain their fight for freedom, there is only one man they can turn to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the dialogue between Rogers and Flint is directly taken from the show.
> 
> I made final updates to the tags, and yes, I am planning to continue this story, probably sooner than later.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, be kind.
> 
> Find me on twitter: https://twitter.com/EAPhoenix22   
or on tumblr https://e-a-phoenix.tumblr.com


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